Saving lives, one fetus at a time.

FYI: From the title you may think this might be some kind of pro-life post. It is not. For the record, I am pro-choice because I am a flamingly liberal homosexual. There. I said it.

I was filling in at one of my stores a while ago and the pharmacist for whatever reason was trusting me to consult (under supervision of course). I found this rather surprising since I had never worked with her before and most people would rather just do it themselves than have to watch a student do it slowly. It was actually a really busy day for us. I'm only a first year, so I know better than to just consult blindly. Hell I'll still be asking questions if I don't know something years from now. Most of my consultations were really easy that day on antibiotics, NSAIDs, etc. I've become quite confident in my ability to consult on antibiotics especially.

As I was going over a seemingly routine consult with a patient, I look up and into her eyes and say "Do not take any alcohol with this." I find that if I do this, they take it more seriously and are actually listening to what I am telling them. She smiles and says "Don't worry, I'm pregnant, so I'm not drinking alcohol anyways."

I'm not very comfortable with what medications can be taken during a pregnancy, so I asked her who prescribed this medication for her. When she told me it was her OBGYN I thought, well I'm assuming her doctor is aware of the pregnancy, but in my experience people make crazy mistakes all the time. That and something about it was really bothering me. I asked her to give me a few minutes, since I am a student and I just wanted to make sure that the medication would be safe for her to take during her pregnancy.

My pharmacist and I were discussing it and looked it up on clinical pharmacology. The words contraindicated in first trimester of pregnancy stood out to me because she was in her first trimester. Shit. At that moment I was so relieved I didn't just let that go. When we told her what we had found out, she was furious. Well, not furious with us, she was pretty thankful that we checked. I guess she's been having a lot of problems with her OBGYN. She thanked us and stormed off (without the medication obviously).

I kind of stood there in a bit of shock. My pharmacist told me I had done an excellent job in catching that and should do great when I take the boards soon. Soon?? I'm only a first year! I guess she thought I was a third or fourth year. I think that caught her off guard, but she had a good laugh about that. I'm just glad I didn't give a prescription to a pregnant lady that could cause birth defects or miscarriage.

Days like these, reminds me how much I love what I do and that I really am where I want to be.

Changes

Life brings a lot of changes. Some changes are quick and noticeable, and sometimes it's slow and subtle. I find that I change a lot every year and always for the better. Maybe it's because I grow up more and more every year.

This past year was pretty intense. I got into pharmacy school. I met a woman that changed my life. I met people that changed my life. And now, everything is changing again. I'm almost done with my first year of pharmacy school. I've succeeded beyond my own expectations. It's amazing actually, how well I've adjusted, how well I've done. I worked hard and it really paid off.

Then there's the woman that changed my life. She made me fall in love with her over and over again, no matter how many times I tried to let go. Why? Because I was afraid of getting hurt. She has this amazing ability to change my perspective on life. I don't think I ever thought I could love someone this way. When she asked me to marry her I was in shock and disbelief. This absolutely smart, gorgeous, funny, kind woman wanted to spend her life with me. She must be crazy. But I said yes. I didn't have time to post about this before because my life was literally turned upside down and traveling at the speed of light.

Then just as quickly as it happened, she is breaking my heart. Suddenly things have changed between us yet again. The woman that once would tell me anything and everything suddenly went silent. I was talking to a stranger, yet she accused me of being the stranger. I feel so lost and confused. What happened to her vision of our future? One that I finally let myself imagine along with her.

Things change in an instant, or so they seem. Maybe it was something that was slowly changing right before our eyes, but we realized it much too late. It hurts.

Life isn't without its ups and downs. I feel lucky to have loved her, even if it has left a feeling of emptiness inside of me for now. I know one day I'll be able to look back on this and smile. It'll just be another one of those slow subtle changes that will take me by surprise yet again. I just wish it wouldn't leave such a nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Gay Bars Story Time

Well, since I'm procrastinating on the piles of things I need to learn by tomorrow and the next several weeks I thought I'd share with you all a funny story. Well, to me it's funny.

So there was once a gay bar in a wondrous place with shiny lights and happy queens squealing in delight.

Ok, that was weird. Let's have a normal story time.

So there we were, celebrating my gay hubby's birthday with some of his friends. I was so drunk, I literally couldn't feel feelings. Not your emotional feelings, but actual sensory feelings. I'm sure if someone hit me with a chair I would have fallen down, but probably would have gotten right back up. Well, if I could get the balance together to do so. I was probably 3 times over my normal limit (normal limit is 2 drinks haha), and I was dancing like a fool and not bothered by the plethora of penises that were definitely rubbing up on me.

Oh what's the harm, they are all gay right?? Well sometimes I wonder. I had random gay guys walk up to me and ask to touch my boobs. Seriously, they would walk up to me and say "Wow. Can I please touch your boobs?" (For the record, I don't have huge breasts. I have no idea why they chose me.)

You would think my husband would protect me, but no of course not. Instead he says "YEAH! It's easy, just do this! HONK!" Luckily, I was too drunk to be too horrified that he had just grabbed my boob, and so started the train of boys awkwardly grabbing my boob.

Seriously. You know they are gay, when they are intrigued, yet not quite sure how to "touch it". Thank freaking goodness I was hammered, because the next morning I woke up and said WHAT. THE. F-CK?!

Anyways, so after about 4 gay guys grabbed me, two of which I had literally just met, the liquor was doing its job and I had to pee. Gay guy bars, have really shitty women's bathrooms. How shitty you ask?

Well, let's see. There was one stall. The toilet had no seat. Oh yeah, and the stall had no door. I am actually weirded out at the series of events that proceeded, but apparently I just didn't care then. There were a lot of women there too, and as always there was a line.

So I'm doing my business, trying to ignore the fact there is no door, and then I look up and this girl is literally staring at me. Seriously? Yeah, look away after I spot you staring. Maybe she was trying to look down my shirt. At least she was cute. Maybe I should have gotten her number. Haha.

I come back to my boys to find them equally hammered and extremely intrigued by strobe lights. Gay boys and strobe lights. Go figure. The rest of the night was very normal in comparison to those two specific incidents.

I hope you all enjoyed story time. I guess I should put in some study time now. Maybe.

Home stretch.

I am so exhausted. We have so many exams this next month, I am not sure how I will survive. I'm talking over 10 exams in the next 4 weeks. It's quite a bit more than 10, but for the sake of anonymity let's just leave it at that. This doesn't include weekly quizzes and assignments either.

It's also freaking freezing, so a lot of us are sick. It's kind of disgusting when you're in a silent room taking an exam, but then hear random loud sniffles of people sucking snot back up their nose. Gross!

I just need to get past these next 4 weeks and life will be amazing once again. Just gotta take it one exam at a time.

Annnnd Break!

Enough about school! Let's talk about break!

I forgot how amazing school breaks are. Sure I still have to pull my days in the trenches of retail pharmacy, but they are by far less draining when you are no longer a full time employee. The best part about break, besides avoiding any studying that may be sitting on my desk, is SNOWBOARDING!

The only downside is transportation. Living in two different states (very far apart) means I leave my car behind. I miss the days when I could just take off for the day to hit the slopes because I felt like it. Now I need to find transportation. Lame. With school taking up most of my life, snowboarding has been put in the back burner, but I think it may change when I come back from break.

Being the over analytical, meticulous students we are, we've planned trips around when we could go and not jeopardize our grades. I'm so excited. I really want a new snowboard, and I am tucking away some money for it. Probably not the best idea when I'm in a ton of debt from school loans.

I'm just stoked to go snowboarding tomorrow. I miss my board.

Reality check

Some days I really wonder what is going to happen to the profession I've chosen and worked so hard to get into. I am legitimately frightened that many future graduates will do nothing, but pull down the profession as a whole. I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, nor the sharpest tool in the shed. I've had a long hard fight to get where I am today. I had a second year look at me in disbelief at how genuinely excited I was to have made the Dean's List. Then she didn't believe me when I told her it was the first time. Ever.

My undergrad GPA was less than stellar, and barely met the minimum requirements. The only reason it went slight over the minimum requirements is because I spent 3 years post-undergrad working my ass off and going to school to bring up my GPA.

Most of my classmates now don't believe me when I tell them my undergrad GPA was atrociously bad. I'll admit it, I've failed more than one course. It's not something I go telling people at school, but I find it interesting that someone like me has been able to shake off that not so stellar past and have succeeded beyond even my own expectations. So far. I study harder than most people think I do. I really hate it when people write off all that hard work I put in to me "just being smart". Right-o buddy. They can believe whatever they want.

I guess when people say some of the people that had the mediocre or low GPA really shine in pharmacy school were right. I love the profession and I am damn excited and terrified of all the new information to come in the next few years.

I just hope some of the fools pick up a thing or two, get some real life experience and make themselves a useful professional in the next 3 years.

What do they call a pharmacy student that graduates with a 2.0? Doctor/Pharmacist.

But to be honest, GPA isn't everything. It's what you learn and how you are able to apply it. I'm just slightly scared that I can single out a few people I hope to whatever deity that never have someone's life in their hands because they can't tell a capsule from a suppository. My preceptor was genuinely shocked that I knew basic counseling points on antibiotics. Those are some low standards. Apparently one of my classmates almost switched a two patients' medications at their site, warfarin and atenolol. Thank god it was caught. We've covered warfarin and atenolol several times in different courses. Several. The fact that she couldn't comprehend the consequences of that mistake had it been given to the patient makes me want to slap her.

If only common sense was a skill that could be taught.

Rainbows and Sunshine

Blah, for whatever reason, my motivation to study has gone way down the drain. I think it may have to do with being freaking sick for the past few days. I just feel like crap.

It doesn't help that some of the courses we are taking are so dry and boring that I have trouble staying awake. I can't wait until we get into more interesting courses. I'm excited for my possible electives next quarter, which doesn't even freaking start until way into next year lol. I've already made my top three choices for next quarter instead of studying. hahaha

I can't wait for winter break, even though we have assloads of exams before break (this week), I still have to study during my break. Boo! I just want to hit the slopes and enjoy life for a bit. The first bit of this new quarter has been exhausting. Not being done until 9 or 10 pm when we start our day really freaking early in the morning sucks.

In other news, girlfriend and I are giving it another go. Who was I kidding? I love her to pieces, and even being far from her has not diminished that feeling. She's amazing, hilarious, and smart as hell, what was I ever thinking letting her go?

I am afraid our current agreement may end up hurting one of us though. I don't really want to go into details, just in case someone at my school finds this blog.

I'm happy, school is going alright, I made the dean's list! My life is full of rainbows and sunshine!

I guess I should use that to motivate me to study so I can stay on that list. haha.

<3