Saturday, January 4, 2014

This year

Happy new year!

This is a big year for me, my classmates, and other class of 2014 members.

When you think of graduation you think of all that comes with it. Degrees, jobs, careers, the rest of your life. You may or may not be drowning in debt, but graduation has always been a fun milestone and this is my final one that involves didactic courses! I'm excited and terrified about what the future may hold, but I want this year to be my year.

I don't know what may or may not happen in the next year, but it's exciting nonetheless. 2013 was quite a year for me and it challenged me in many ways and I'm ready for the new challenges that lie ahead in 2014.

I don't want to call these resolutions, but I suppose you could classify it as such.

I want to be happy again. With myself, with my life. I let my happiness go because I was holding onto too many things already gone. I'm proud of myself for making it this far, but I did lose my way in 2013. This year I want to be happy again, with myself, my life, and purge the toxic people out of my life. I know I'm a good person, somewhere inside. Deep down there's still that girl that believes the best in everyone, that gives everyone a chance. The girl that comes out when talking to patients. The girl that isn't jaded by others and by life.

But cutting people out of your life, toxic or not, is emotionally taxing. As I realize more and more those that need to leave from my life, the sadder I become, yet I know it's for the best. I love and care deeply about my friends, relationships, and family. Deciding to walk away from someone is not an easy task for me. I have a tendency to hold on to people I love, regardless of how  much they hurt me because I care so deeply. I also know how much lighter my life is without someone who constantly makes me feel like a horrible person, or makes me feel unloved. I don't deserve that, no one does.

So this year, I will graduate. I will find my place in the world whether it be a residency or a community pharmacist.  I will find happiness in myself once again and hopefully never lose that girl that loves the people in her life and never takes them for granted.

Bring it on 2014. I'm ready.