Friday, July 31, 2009

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

Me: That's the pain medication... it's for pain.
Lady: WHAT?!
Me: It's for treating pain.
Me: .......... I don't know how else to iterate to you that it's for pain. ( I guess I need to bring a thesaurus to work.)
Me: .... hold on a second.

Then I walked away, every one is laughing, patients and coworkers alike. I go find some other poor soul and hand it off hoping they have better luck.

Then I hear the same conversation over again, and I also hear something similar to a head banging against a wall. Then someone looks over at me and goes, so what's pain medication for? At that point I just bang my head against the wall too. Maybe I should I have said it's for ouchies? But then I'd have a lawsuit on my hands when the lady gives it to her kid whe he gets a paper cut.

Friday, July 24, 2009

I feel like a pedestrian in England

If you have ever taken walks around the UK (mostly London), you will understand the title after reading this blog. You may have the right of way walking in the US, but if you ain't in a car in London, you better move your ass outta the way.

I am slowly finding it tolerable to drive again. At least cars don't terrify me as much as they did a few months ago. Granted I have discovered people see you slightly better when you are IN a car and not walking. I can probably safetly and conservatively estimate that I am nearly hit by a car twice a week as a pedestrian.

My favorite incident was when I was walking with two of my cousins to the car after we saw a movie. This car, literally backs up INTO me. At this point I am slamming my hand on their trunk, and seriously considering stabbing my keys into their trunk to get their attention. I wasn't so much concerned about myself as much as the little one. Had I been in less pain, I probably would have sent many dents into that corvett for backing up into me. My other cousin was staring, horrified at what was happening, and yelling KEY THEIR MOTHER-EFFING CAR CAROLYN!!!! WHAT THE F- IS WRONG WITH THEM?

I mean come on...don't people use those rear view mirrors anymore, it's not there for decoration.

Come to think of it, being in downtown LA, probably a good thing I didn't pick a fight with those idiots. Car vs. pedestrian, car usually wins, even if I dent it. And it was also LA and I wasn't armed hahaha.

Another wonderful incident was crossing the street to a local drug store in a business area. Ya know, 15mph, slow, all that good stuff? Well dumb woman on a cell phone in a ugly ass SUV must not have gotten the memo and missed that question during the written portion of the DMV exam because she was going about 30 (and speeds up as she comes closer to us) and nearly hit my 12 year old. I was so pissed after pulling him out of the way, I threw my cell phone at them. (Fuck the cell phone, she almost hit my kid!!!) My 25 year old cousin then decided this was the opportune time to shout GET THE FUCK OFF THE DAMN PHONE YOU FAT BITCH.

I nearly fell over laughing when she said that. I guess when it comes to our 12 year old, we're not very polite people. My cell phone rocks by the way, it only has a few scratches after colliding with her car and the pavement.

Seriously... how can you not see three people in the middle of the street? Especially in the middle of the afternoon.

Hmmm I feel like I need to carry rocks with me whenever I go for a walk now. Good exercise, and useful in case I need to throw it at some idiot that fails to watch where they are going.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

PT is fun for everyone.

I have been feeling some insane backpain for the last week. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming I find it hard to breathe. So I am on temporary leave off work (so long as I can find someone to cover my shifts) so I don't injure myself further. It's been almost 2 months since the accident and things are just getting worse. This makes me sad. It makes me miss the life I had before (and I am making it sounds like something more distant in the past than a mere two months) and all the fun and risks I could handle. I'll be honest, this whole thing makes me angry. Mostly because I can't go running when I want to. Some days I really despise the kid that hit me, and some days I understand it was an accident. Shit happens, but most days I am really mad at the kid for not checking and slamming me into a median.

My physical therapist saw me today and the first thing she said was 'Oh my god, are you ok?!'

I am guessing I looked worse for wear than even I realized. My back is stiff and I can hardly move. Not the best feeling in the world.

I'll leave it to them though. I really like my physical therapist and the office staff. They are hilarious. It makes the 90 minutes of PT fly by in a fit of laughter and silliness. My kind of people. Today she tried to stretch out my back. This was full of hilarity.

Imagine you have your arms crossed, hands on each opposite shoulder and someone is rolling you up into their body so your face is pretty much squished into their abdomen or other areas. Just experiencing it put me in giggle fits. Even though I'm sure I should not have been laughing. I just couldn't help it!

I really do enjoy them. They are great bunch and they make me smile even when I feel like shit. Plus they make me feel better. Haha.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Is gay a bad word?

Have any of you been in a car while fireworks are going off? I was driving to my friend's house after work and it literally shook my car. Granted, my car is tiny and I was really really close to the fireworks, but it was an interesting experience. Than a manuevering through cars and people sitting in the street was also interesting.

Anywho I finally got there and finally met my friend's girlfriend. She's hilarious. We were sitting around talking and catching up, and I guess we couldn't resist being really really gay. It all started with my friend going 'hey want some gay cake?' as she points to a chocolate cake with a giant rainbow and clouds.

'... gay cake?'

'dude, look at this cake, isn't this the gayest cake you have EVER seen?'

'The only thing it needs to be gayer is possibly some glitter and butterflies.'

Ah, you gotta love it. Well the backstory here is that it wasn't just a friends gathering, but also had some family friends since her parents were hosting. She has the most supportive, loving parents ever, love them! However, there were some very... well conservative relgiious people present. (Although her parents have made it very clear that those who don't believe in gay rights will be shown to the door and out of their lives)

Well a 13 year old girl happened by started listening to our very... gay conversation and interrupted it by very politely asking us to stop using bad words.

We looked at each other baffled at what this word could be and when she explained that she went to a christian school it dawned on us. The girlfriend gave me this 'Oh you have got to be kidding look' and asked 'Well... what should we say? Homosex--, how about bi? It's only half gay.

I lost all control and giggled my face off at that. At this point my friend was trying to be nice, yet failing since she waved her brother and friends over to try a piece of her very gay cake, adding that it was so gay, you'd become a gay too with just one bite!'

I love my friends.