another year come and gone

Holy crap. 2011 where the heck did you go?! I have mixed feelings about this year, but at the end of the day I'm probably the happiest I've ever been yay 2011!

I can't help but get all sentimental at the end of every year. I find myself reminiscing about what made me think, laugh, and cry over the past year. No matter how much some of the experiences have sucked, I feel like I learned something valuable from most of the things that have happened to me.

I'm ready for 2012 and everything that it may bring. I have started changing a lot of things in my life and I hope it continues through the new year. Sorry about the crap short post. It's been an exhausting winter break. I've also been sick for the entirety of my break. Suck.

Have a safe and wonderful new year!

Love and Acceptance

You know what I've found since moving to this new place over a year ago? More love and acceptance than I could have ever dreamed of. It's not that I didn't feel that way when I was home, but there I felt like I had to keep a part of myself a secret from my family.

My 'family' here has been nothing but loving. I don't have to be afraid to be who I am and never have to doubt how they feel about me. Or perhaps they are nice to me because they need my help with school. It feels so good to be open and free to be who I am. My sister in law recently told me how proud she was of me, not just for how well I am doing academically, but also how happy I've been. I guess it's true. I feel accepted and loved unconditionally here. Back home I felt trapped because telling my parents I'm gay would mean rejection and untold terrors. I know how they will react- I know their views on homosexuality and I know how set they are in their ways. I know it'll one day get better after I tell them, but the pain and hurt is not something I can handle right now.

I really want to tell my sister and I know she and my brother will handle it well. I just can't trust that my brother will keep the secret for me. I am probably happier than I ever thought I could be. Being gay doesn't define who I am as a person. I am still the person everyone sees and knows. Who I fall in love with may not be traditional, but it's not something I can change so it's not something worth putting effort into trying to change.

There was a time I hated myself. I hated who I was, I hated myself for being gay. It was no way to live. I isolated myself, I let my emotions and hurt get out of control. I am glad that is no longer the case and it made me a stronger person today.

I love who I am and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I hope one day my parents will, too.

I hope that one day kids aren't bullied for being different or being gay. I don't want my children growing up in so much hate.

Thankful

Yeah yeah, time for some cornball cheesy thankfulness. It is that time of the year after all. Although I do find it ironic since early Americans pillaged and raped the land away from Native Americans. Small technicality, no?

Cynicism aside, I am thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful for almost being halfway done with pharmacy school and not screwing up quite yet. I am thankful for my family for always pushing me to do my best. I am thankful for my fluffy dog that pretty much every thing in the world so much better with just a snuggle.

I can't even begin to start with the amazing people I have in my life. I have such a wonderful support group of friends and I don't know where I would be without them. They make me smile and help me get through the day when I just want to throw my hands up in defeat. They provide the much needed comic relief in the sometimes all too serious environment of the library.

I am thankful for my blog friends that I sometimes share a part of myself that I seldom share with people I actually know. I think anonymity makes one braver when sharing secrets.

Finally, I am thankful for my ex-fiance. No, we're not getting back together, but I feel like this (hopefully) will be the last mention of her on this blog. I don't regret falling in love with her. As much as she drives me crazy with phone calls and texts, I wouldn't go back and wish our relationship never happened. My life, however exponentially complicated it has gotten lately, was made richer because I had a great love in my life. I no longer believe it was meant to be, but it was meant to happen.

I don't know why I am so happy right now, but I feel great and I can't stop smiling.

Med Chem is useless.

I hate med chem (medicinal chemistry). I have hated o-chem for quite some time... and med chem really has not helped me like it any better.

First off, I find this course extremely useless. It's not on the NAPLEX and unless I want to pursue industry (which I do not) I am most likely never ever going to use this again.

Secondly, I don't know why I just don't get this stuff. I mean I have a general understanding, but it seems I falter when I try and put it all together. When I see functional groups I tend to miss the whole thing, calling something that's supposed to be an amide a ketone and a secondary amine. I just look at the whole drug structure and it seems like a giant cluster-f-ck of things. And metabolic reactions? Blah. For the most part I get it... then there are times where I feel like a dumbass.

I just feel like this course should be an elective for the 1% of my class that actually wants to go into industry. Please, tell me how this course can be useful for any other branch of pharmacy that does not deal with drug research/development.

Well... back to studying functional groups.

Happy National Coming Out Day!

Ok, so today it's actually a day late in the US, but in the UK it's today! So yes, back on topic. Oct 11 is national coming out day for many many countries. I actually completely forgot about it until I saw a number of facebook updates on it. It's been a pretty hectic week for me, so forgive my lateness on this post.

National coming out day is just a day, but it's a day to kind of celebrate who you are as a person. "Never be afraid to be yourself." Those words made me smile. I'm not sorry for who I am, but I do know what it feels like to be afraid to be yourself. It's hard having to come out over and over again in your life. Sometimes you don't care what the other person will think and other times you brace yourself for rejection from people you care about.

I came out 6 years ago to my friends and some of my family. It's been a hard road, but the first time I came out was so relieving. My friends were so loving and supportive and I could not have asked for a better first experience. I chose who I came out to very carefully and when an extended family member came out to me a few years ago during dinner I nearly choked on my food. The exact words were: "So... cousin... I'm gay. Please don't hate me." Now that's why I choked. I could only cough some food away and sputter "What?! Me too! And why on earth would you think I would hate you?!

It just goes to show you family can be quite surprising... and how much we both fear coming out to our entire family. I'm lucky to have the support that I do. I'm not sorry about who I am. My sexuality is only a minor part of me. Why it's such a big deal to some is so very perplexing.

I came out again last year. First to my gay husband, who pretty much came out to me and then said "So is there something YOU need to tell me? Hmmm?" I feel so lucky to have him here. He is my rock when I need him and one of the best friends I could ever ask for. Then it came easy to come out to the rest of my friends at pharmacy school. Actually, I have been outed numerous times. It's kind of annoying, but what can I do? If they don't like it that's their problem. It's like hating me for being Asian. I can't change it, they can go f- themselves.

Many of my classmates actually wished me a happy coming out day. Haha. I like to play around with them and say with a straight (haha) face that "What? I'm not gay. Have you met my husband? Pretty sure he's a man..." It's even funnier when they just laugh hysterically at that. We're just too gay for words I guess. Granted I don't look extremely gay, but I guess once you get to know me it makes sense? I never really understand these comments.

Anywho, back to studying for me! I hope everyone had a wonderful day.

Brain is full

I feel overwhelmed right now. There's so much information to process, learn, and memorize! This year is definitely not as easy as first year, not that I expected it to be. I knew it was going to be harder, but I don't think I anticipated how hard it was going to be to balance everything.

The worst of it is over. I felt like I was running around every day for the past month between school, extracurricular activities, and work. I'm having trouble finding my "groove" this year. Last year I jumped into my regular study routine rather easily, but this year I just can't get the motivation up to do it. I think I'm over committed and my mind and body are just exhausted.

So until next time, I'm still alive (barely)! The only funny thing that happened recently was this:

We have a building that have glass windows from the floor up to the ceiling on certain sides. I was in such a rush that I ran straight into the window thinking it was a door. And yes, the room was full of other students. FAIL. I jumped back and ran for the door without looking back and pretty much kept running until I got to my next class.

Life and Death

As we grow older we learn and experience so many new things. We live, we learn, we gain new friends and lose others whether just in the shuffle of life or in death. I'm thankful for all the people I've had in my life whether I knew them for a night (not in the sexual way you dirty people) or I've known them my whole life. I've learned so much from the people in my life and it makes me smile knowing that even if just briefly, I had them in my life.

I'm writing today because I've lost a friend. It's not the first loss I've experienced and certainly will not be the last, but death is something no matter how many times you've gone through it, it never gets any easier. We weren't close, in fact she was a friend I met through my family. I considered her a friend because of the lasting impact she made on me on the few times we did meet. She had a great witty sarcastic outlook on life and always made me smile and laugh.

I was sad to learned that she had passed on, not even being aware that she was sick. She was a strong independent woman, so I'm not surprised I didn't know. The touching words friends have left for her truly show what a remarkable woman she was.

Death has taught me one of the most valuable things I always try to remember. You never know how much time you have with someone and it will never seem long enough. It has taught me to cherish the moments that I've shared with people I love. I keep those happy memories close and even if they fade with time, a reminder never fails to make me smile.

I was young when I experienced my first significant loss. It was the first time I understood the finality of death and how much it could weigh on you. To this day I remember certain parts of the funeral so vividly. I try to keep what little I remember, yet it seems so much harder with every passing year. For everyone I have lost I try to remember at least a few happy moments I was fortunate enough to share with them to keep their memory alive in my heart an in my mind.

Life seems so hectic now with classes, studies, and work. I feel overwhelmed and envious of friends that are getting married and having a family. I am probably closer with my friends that have children than those that don't because I adore children. I guess my friends are grateful because I'm their free babysitter, but I love it so much. They tease me that I'm ready to have kids and my terrified look always makes for a good laugh. I know I'll be ready some day, definitely after the insanity of school is over.

I know talking about babies and death in the same entry seems a bit odd, but for me it's inter-related. For me these two things continue to teach me more about life than any class could. I'm a lucky person, even though sometimes I do feel hopeless. These experiences help get me through the hopeless times to the hopeful times. And I truly hope this has given someone a new outlook on life and death. And I hopeTSD, who recently experienced a devastating loss is doing as well as she can be.

One day at a time.

Breaking up with my fiance earlier this year was quite possibly one of the hardest things I've had to do. It definitely tops off the list of reasons why I'm not so fond of 2011. I wish I could say I handled it gracefully. Sadly, I spent the first few months doing destructive things. My school work suffered, my friends were unsure of how to act around me. Friends mentioning her name made me tense up and shut down. I doubted my choice and wondered if I should give in to her pleas and get back together.

There were days where I all I wanted to do was be safe in her arms again. Days when I wondered if I could ever feel that way about someone again.

I'm not quite sure how I did it, but I stayed with my convictions. And today I was able to mention her in a conversation without it bringing me down. My friends tensed at the mention of her name, watching for my reaction and wondering what was going through my mind. It feels good to know I am surrounded by people who love and care about me. It feels good to know that I can mention her without the lingering feeling of bitterness and hurt.

It still hurts to think about, but I can slowly feel myself being able to let this go. It's not much of a start, but a start nonetheless. Still taking it one day at a time, but at least it's getting easier.

Stories from the pharm

Procrastination on school work really gets me blogging it seems. Can you blame me? Who has the time to blog when there's all this free time lying around for mischievous antics anyhow? I have so many classes this term, I am starting to wonder why I took 2 electives and threw in some research for kicks. I've been throwing in some hours at work before the fun really starts with exams. That way I can at least eat for a few more weeks once I start working less haha.

People are nuts. We had a guy yell at one of my techs for 20 minutes that we kept filling his mom's prescriptions when she had months worth at home. Screaming that we were taking advantage of a poor blind woman.

First off... I've seen this woman DRIVE to the pharmacy. Oh good god, she's blind?! Second, she CALLS us every month to refill her medications. This leads us to believe she's taking it as directed... and not stocking up for the next nuclear holocaust. Then suddenly it's our fault and that we should know and keep track of her medication. How exactly are we supposed to know what she has at home? We only have the last fill date to go by. Take care of your own mother, or hire someone to do it for you.

Then we have "why isn't it ready yet?" man for a compounded medication. Look man, if you don't call us to make it for you, we are NOT going to make it. Those have short expiration dates, we are not fortune tellers (because if we were we surely would be working for Ms. Cleo instead of dealing with this) so you need to tell us if you need something filled. Secondly, when we compound something it means we actually have to make it. No it's not going to take 5 minutes. Dissolving 30 capsules of lansoprazole in sodium bicarbonate has to be one of the most excruciating and annoying compounds to make. Well, aside from suppositories. By the way, I make some gorgeous suppositories, almost seems like a waste that it's just gonna get shoved up someone's ass. Well, ok, the ones I hate making the most are capsules.

Then there's also dealing with the new kid. I swear he types with one finger and has to think about each and every single letter before he presses the key. He also doesn't properly notate prescriptions, or scans them into the system. He's been around for 2 months. Writing a date of birth on the script and scanning it should be second nature by now. He may as well be counting by 1's at the rate that he fills. He also seems to have difficulty putting away drugs in the right place. This kid is killing me. He walked around for 5 minutes asking us 3 times for permission to go home. It just ended with me pleading for him to just leave. As soon as he leaves... still busy... but somehow we manage to get it under control. He's a nice kid, but he's gonna be the death of me.

I love my job, I really do. But days like these just make me want to slam my head into a wall.

Happy school year!

Ok, so when I'm NOT in school there is this stuff called "free time" that I get to utilize. That stuff is amazing and rather addicting. It also paves the way for such social activities as drink until you get a fatty liver, or read to your hearts content. Now we all know what most of the general population will do...

Well, in my case I do a bit of it all. I throw in a lot of TV time too (which is where I got this blog title... stupid delicious wheaties). As I gear up for another school year I feel terrified and daunted by the dreaded "second year". Will my fatty liver recover in time for after exam drink-a-thons to forget that horror that just passed? Will I ever catch up on these TV shows that I just discovered?? (probably not)

I'm going to bet good money that any new rx ads that come up on TV after I start school will become a patient question. I hadn't watched tv in years until this past summer. I had a patient come up to me and as a question about a "commercial she saw last year" for an OTC med about a "purple pill" and if I've heard of it. Having not watched TV in a while I and racked my brain for this magical purple pill I asked for more details.

What is this medication for?

"I DON'T KNOW. DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE COMMERCIAL? IT SAID I NEEDED IT!!!"

Umm... If you don't know what it's for, or what you want it to treat... I'm going to go with you don't need to put this mystical pill into your body. Have a grape lollipop instead.

Ah... I can't wait.

Wait, it's August?!

I looked at my watch today and saw that it was August 1st. What the... where did July go? Where did my summer go? My lack of updates is really just because my life has not been all that interesting.

I've read about 7 books this summer. Yes, I'm a nerd, but hey I've loved it. Whenever life gets too demanding and I really just can't handle any more social events, I like to lock myself in a room and just read. It's not that I don't like social events. I love hanging out with my friends, but some days I just need to be alone. I read the entire Hunger Games trilogy- which was amazing. I read the trilogy in about 4 days. It would have been 3 had work not intervened. Haha. I've watched a ton of movies and I've had a lot of cuddle time with my pup. It's been a nice summer.

See? This is why I haven't updated... I have nothing interesting to say! I'll stop wasting your time now ;)

Coming Out.

I've been thinking a lot about family lately. In my life, I am out in so many ways. I'm out at work, at school, to my friends, yet I am not in one of the most important parts of my life, my family. I'm not ashamed of who I am or things that I cannot change. I am who I am, I'm who they raised me to be. I work hard, I care deeply for those that are close to me, I was raised to love my family and be there for them, and I stand up for what I believe in. I know they didn't raise me to be gay, but I can't help who I am or who I love. It's not something neither they nor I can change.

The only thing I hate about being gay is the fear of losing my family. I know they love me and are proud of the person I have grown up to be and am continuing to grow into. It terrifies me that something I cannot change could cause me to lose one of the most important parts of my life. I know my friends say that it will take time and that they may surprise me and take it well, but they don't know my family like I do. The ones in my family I am out to pretty much feel the same way I do.

For years I have lived my life as fully and happily as I can. When people can't accept me for who I am, I remove them from my life and move on. Why keep someone in my life if they cannot accept me as I am? Yet it makes me feel like such a hypocrite because I cannot bring myself to come out to my family, because I can't walk away from them. I don't think I'm strong enough. Family is the most important thing to me.

My close friends tell me that I need to sooner rather than later, that they will have to accept it eventually and fuck them if they don't. I just can't. I do have an amazing group of friends that I consider a part of my family, but I can't just walk away.

What makes it harder now, is that I'm at that age where my parents want to see me find someone to marry. When my mom started talking about boyfriends and husbands I froze. I thought about the woman I almost married, the life we had planned to share, the family we wanted to have. Then I thought about the family my mom wants me to have, the one I won't have.

I plan big life decisions very carefully. Those big decisions include coming out to my family some day. My mom's sudden want to talk about getting married has really thrown a wrench in those plans. I always have alternate plans when things like this go wrong, why didn't I think of one for this?!

1 year down, 3 to go!

I am still in a bit of disbelief that I have completed my first year of pharmacy school. I'm grateful to be where I am today. It took a lot of hard work fixing past educational mistakes (aka bad grades) to get into pharmacy school and it was a struggle I wasn't sure I would be able to overcome. I remember being extremely excited to start, but equally nervous about the coursework. To my surprise, I did very well my first year. I still love what I do and what I'm learning, and that makes all the struggles worthwhile. I'm grateful for summer break and even though I'm excited and terrified for next year, I am excited for some R&R.

One thing I'm actually really upset about are some of my classmates. It's been circulating that we have some people in our class that have cheated on multiple exams throughout the year. What makes me even angrier is the school can't do anything unless they actually catch them and those that see the cheating going on just complain about it after the fact. Sure, no one likes being the person to "rat out" a classmate for cheating, but it's not fair to their future patients, or us as a class to let something like this go. I am friends with a few of those that have been cheating and I would honestly not just let it go because of our friendship. Correction, they were my friends, because I don't tolerate cheating. If my best friend were to ask me to help him cheat, it'd be over. Not that he ever would. We both worked too hard and come to far to jeopardize it with cheating. It's not that they are being accused without evidence, they have actually told other classmates about how awesome they are at cheating. What. The. F-ck. Who DOES that?

Cheating is a big deal. Sure, first year is a lot of basic stuff, but what about next year and the year after that? They could kill a patient some day. They could make mistakes that reflects poorly not only on our profession, but us as a class and school. It really pisses me off because a few of them have nearly perfect GPAs when those in my class who are struggling to pass are at least doing it honestly.

I kind of wish I noticed it during exams, but I am in my own little world of focus and terror during exams. Well, they better get ready to learn everything on our own. Several people have talked professors and the dean about it. If they get caught and for whatever reason are allowed to stay, I think they need to start over from the beginning.

I know I may sound idealistic, but cheating has no place in a profession that holds the lives of other people in their hands. I know it happens in medical school, dental school, etc too, but it is not something that should be tolerated or taken lightly.

Procrastination

Ah, procrastination brings me back here yet again.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Unfortunately it's rarely about school unless I'm having anxiety over my courses. Most of it is about my ex, which is really no surprise. As much as I still love her, I know I can't get back together with her, no matter how much she pushes. I just can't forget what's been done. I just wish I still wasn't so in love with her. It's thrown a wrench in a lot of my school work. I've lost so much focus, and it's driving me crazy!

I was on a weekend trip for a school org (I know, I'm a super nerd). Let me tell you, the number of queers that belong to this organization blew my mind in the best possible way. My gaydar was going off in all directions! I was getting hit on a lot, which is unusual. At the bars one woman dominated/demanded my attention. I had way too much to drink and before I knew it she was kissing me on the dance floor. She was really attractive, funny, and I was enjoying her company, but as soon as she kissed me alarms went off in my head.

It drives me crazy that another woman kissing me is making me feel like I'm cheating, when I'm single. We danced most of the night, she kissed me several times and then some. When we got back to the hotel she asked me what I wanted to do. Shit. I pretty much ran away. 1) I don't sleep with someone I just meet 2) I was still freaking out in my head a little.

I hope this goes away soon.

Saving lives, one fetus at a time.

FYI: From the title you may think this might be some kind of pro-life post. It is not. For the record, I am pro-choice because I am a flamingly liberal homosexual. There. I said it.

I was filling in at one of my stores a while ago and the pharmacist for whatever reason was trusting me to consult (under supervision of course). I found this rather surprising since I had never worked with her before and most people would rather just do it themselves than have to watch a student do it slowly. It was actually a really busy day for us. I'm only a first year, so I know better than to just consult blindly. Hell I'll still be asking questions if I don't know something years from now. Most of my consultations were really easy that day on antibiotics, NSAIDs, etc. I've become quite confident in my ability to consult on antibiotics especially.

As I was going over a seemingly routine consult with a patient, I look up and into her eyes and say "Do not take any alcohol with this." I find that if I do this, they take it more seriously and are actually listening to what I am telling them. She smiles and says "Don't worry, I'm pregnant, so I'm not drinking alcohol anyways."

I'm not very comfortable with what medications can be taken during a pregnancy, so I asked her who prescribed this medication for her. When she told me it was her OBGYN I thought, well I'm assuming her doctor is aware of the pregnancy, but in my experience people make crazy mistakes all the time. That and something about it was really bothering me. I asked her to give me a few minutes, since I am a student and I just wanted to make sure that the medication would be safe for her to take during her pregnancy.

My pharmacist and I were discussing it and looked it up on clinical pharmacology. The words contraindicated in first trimester of pregnancy stood out to me because she was in her first trimester. Shit. At that moment I was so relieved I didn't just let that go. When we told her what we had found out, she was furious. Well, not furious with us, she was pretty thankful that we checked. I guess she's been having a lot of problems with her OBGYN. She thanked us and stormed off (without the medication obviously).

I kind of stood there in a bit of shock. My pharmacist told me I had done an excellent job in catching that and should do great when I take the boards soon. Soon?? I'm only a first year! I guess she thought I was a third or fourth year. I think that caught her off guard, but she had a good laugh about that. I'm just glad I didn't give a prescription to a pregnant lady that could cause birth defects or miscarriage.

Days like these, reminds me how much I love what I do and that I really am where I want to be.

Changes

Life brings a lot of changes. Some changes are quick and noticeable, and sometimes it's slow and subtle. I find that I change a lot every year and always for the better. Maybe it's because I grow up more and more every year.

This past year was pretty intense. I got into pharmacy school. I met a woman that changed my life. I met people that changed my life. And now, everything is changing again. I'm almost done with my first year of pharmacy school. I've succeeded beyond my own expectations. It's amazing actually, how well I've adjusted, how well I've done. I worked hard and it really paid off.

Then there's the woman that changed my life. She made me fall in love with her over and over again, no matter how many times I tried to let go. Why? Because I was afraid of getting hurt. She has this amazing ability to change my perspective on life. I don't think I ever thought I could love someone this way. When she asked me to marry her I was in shock and disbelief. This absolutely smart, gorgeous, funny, kind woman wanted to spend her life with me. She must be crazy. But I said yes. I didn't have time to post about this before because my life was literally turned upside down and traveling at the speed of light.

Then just as quickly as it happened, she is breaking my heart. Suddenly things have changed between us yet again. The woman that once would tell me anything and everything suddenly went silent. I was talking to a stranger, yet she accused me of being the stranger. I feel so lost and confused. What happened to her vision of our future? One that I finally let myself imagine along with her.

Things change in an instant, or so they seem. Maybe it was something that was slowly changing right before our eyes, but we realized it much too late. It hurts.

Life isn't without its ups and downs. I feel lucky to have loved her, even if it has left a feeling of emptiness inside of me for now. I know one day I'll be able to look back on this and smile. It'll just be another one of those slow subtle changes that will take me by surprise yet again. I just wish it wouldn't leave such a nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Gay Bars Story Time

Well, since I'm procrastinating on the piles of things I need to learn by tomorrow and the next several weeks I thought I'd share with you all a funny story. Well, to me it's funny.

So there was once a gay bar in a wondrous place with shiny lights and happy queens squealing in delight.

Ok, that was weird. Let's have a normal story time.

So there we were, celebrating my gay hubby's birthday with some of his friends. I was so drunk, I literally couldn't feel feelings. Not your emotional feelings, but actual sensory feelings. I'm sure if someone hit me with a chair I would have fallen down, but probably would have gotten right back up. Well, if I could get the balance together to do so. I was probably 3 times over my normal limit (normal limit is 2 drinks haha), and I was dancing like a fool and not bothered by the plethora of penises that were definitely rubbing up on me.

Oh what's the harm, they are all gay right?? Well sometimes I wonder. I had random gay guys walk up to me and ask to touch my boobs. Seriously, they would walk up to me and say "Wow. Can I please touch your boobs?" (For the record, I don't have huge breasts. I have no idea why they chose me.)

You would think my husband would protect me, but no of course not. Instead he says "YEAH! It's easy, just do this! HONK!" Luckily, I was too drunk to be too horrified that he had just grabbed my boob, and so started the train of boys awkwardly grabbing my boob.

Seriously. You know they are gay, when they are intrigued, yet not quite sure how to "touch it". Thank freaking goodness I was hammered, because the next morning I woke up and said WHAT. THE. F-CK?!

Anyways, so after about 4 gay guys grabbed me, two of which I had literally just met, the liquor was doing its job and I had to pee. Gay guy bars, have really shitty women's bathrooms. How shitty you ask?

Well, let's see. There was one stall. The toilet had no seat. Oh yeah, and the stall had no door. I am actually weirded out at the series of events that proceeded, but apparently I just didn't care then. There were a lot of women there too, and as always there was a line.

So I'm doing my business, trying to ignore the fact there is no door, and then I look up and this girl is literally staring at me. Seriously? Yeah, look away after I spot you staring. Maybe she was trying to look down my shirt. At least she was cute. Maybe I should have gotten her number. Haha.

I come back to my boys to find them equally hammered and extremely intrigued by strobe lights. Gay boys and strobe lights. Go figure. The rest of the night was very normal in comparison to those two specific incidents.

I hope you all enjoyed story time. I guess I should put in some study time now. Maybe.

Home stretch.

I am so exhausted. We have so many exams this next month, I am not sure how I will survive. I'm talking over 10 exams in the next 4 weeks. It's quite a bit more than 10, but for the sake of anonymity let's just leave it at that. This doesn't include weekly quizzes and assignments either.

It's also freaking freezing, so a lot of us are sick. It's kind of disgusting when you're in a silent room taking an exam, but then hear random loud sniffles of people sucking snot back up their nose. Gross!

I just need to get past these next 4 weeks and life will be amazing once again. Just gotta take it one exam at a time.