School, Smash, and Prop 8

Holy what it's February?!

Pharmacy school is notorious for two things:

1) Making each block fly by
2) Making many courses drag by

It's not contradicting! In a few of my classes I swear every minute feels like a year, but then I look back on the whole block and I can't believe it's time for finals again. Commence sleepless nights, anxiety, and self diagnosing yourself with every disorder you are studying. I'm not kidding, we were covering mental health and it stated "Patient A is depressed because states that she finds it hard to get out of bed in the morning and when she goes home all she does is crawl in bed and watch TV."

Um, excuse me, that's what I do EVERY DAY. Actually, we pretty much all looked at each other and thought the same thing, "Wait, that's not normal?!".


Enough about school. Let's talk about my new love: Smash. Not Hulk Smash! Not the sound of students banging their heads against the walls in frustration. I am talking about the new TV show. I never would have heard of it had I not seen the ads for it during the Super Bowl. You know you've been in pharmacy school too long when you spell bowl, bowel repeatedly. Aside from my obsession with musical theatre, they hooked me with Megan Hilty. I love her voice. I could listen to her all day, and then I watched the show.

WHERE HAS KATHARINE MCPHEE BEEN ALL MY LIFE?! I'm pretty sure I swooned when they did a duet.

Let's be real here. Any show centered around Broadway that has amazing voices I will love. I'm not saying I will love the story line, but I have a wonderful skill where I just enjoy the songs and the beautiful voices.

And last, but not least:

Prop 8 was ruled UNCONSTITUTIONAL by the ninth circuit court!!!! Just another step in the long uphill battle.

From the LA Times:
The court concluded that Prop. 8 served no purpose other than to "lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians."

Now if only more people could see and understand that. It's not a matter of religion. If it was purely religious, I'd say keep it. We can come up with a better name for gay marriage, well not me because I have the creativity of a potato. But we could, and it'd be fabulous. It's the fact that "marriage" in the United States allows for certain RIGHTS and BENEFITS to married couples, including but not limited to: tax breaks, medical and legal rights, things that the government grants couples with a legal binding contract that is not offered to single people (or gays). No, civil unions do not grant the same legal benefits and nor is it recognized on a federal level. It's like saying you get a tax break for being white, but not if you're black. Or, white people get this tax break on the state and this from the federal government, but you can only have it on the state level because you're not white.

Is that fair? Is that equal?

Let's face it, it's not. And really this is just my "logical" argument for gay marriage rights and rights in general. Separate is not equal. My heart tells me that it's not right because you are denying couples that love and adore each other (certainly more than Kim Kardashawhatever did that dude and Rush and his 3 divorces) the right to marry. Sanctity of marriage my ass. If people can get married to someone they just met in Vegas, then let Adam marry Steve and Eve marry Kate. The world will not implode or explode, life will go on.

P.S. Just because I like women does not mean I want to marry a toaster, a horse, or a building. That argument doesn't even make sense. Consenting adult does not equal inanimate objects, animals, or children.

She's gay, you all know each other right?!

Let's get one thing straight folks (aside from the fact that I am not). Being gay does not automatically mean you know every single gay person in the area, or in my case, school. Sadly, I know maybe 2 (out) gay people at school. I know there are more, yes I know they must exist, but no I have not met and befriended them all. I'm not saying that I don't want to. It'd be really nice to not feel like the only lesbian on campus (even though I know that is definitely not true). I would like to meet and talk to them, but how awkward would be that interaction be?

"Oh hi, um so my friends tell me that you're gay, too." And that would probably be the end of our awkward exchange.

We're in grad school guys! 95% of us are very awkward people! (true for my campus at least) Granted, some much more than others, but I am not about to become a gay seeking missile (similar to a heat seeking missile?) and find every single gay person that people tell me about. I've thought about it... because though I love my friends, sometimes being the token gay is not so much fun.

I just find it strange and sometimes hilarious that people will say things like "OH! So I met this gay girl, you know her right?" or "You must know her, she's a lesbian."

That's like walking up to an Asian and saying "Hey this person is Asian too, y'all know each other right?" or "Hey, you're a Jew, you know so-and-so right?! Cos he's a Jew, too!"

Sorry to slip in the Jew comment, because people actually have come up to me and asked if I knew this person because he was an Asian, too. Some people are kind of special.

So public service announcement: Just cos someone is gay doesn't automatically mean they know all the gays in the world.

You're welcome. Now go be awkward about something else.

New Obsession

Ah, so my new obsession is currently cooking. The problem is finding time to cook, when I barely have enough time to exercise. Ah, a tip I left out in my last post. Exercising is key to maintaining your sanity in pharmacy school. I was so busy this entire week that I didn't get any of my running, biking, and training in that I was extremely antsy in class. I feel bad for my classmates because I cannot stop moving when this happens. Between it being freaking freezing, exams, work, and meetings the only time I have left to myself is late at night. Granted I should have just taken my notes and at least gone biking, but busy is my excuse for being fat. Haha!

But I digress.

I have always loved cooking and one of my goals this year was to 1) eat at least twice a day (also an issue with being busy) 2) eat healthier (another side effect of being busy #whatfatpeoplesay) 3) it really sucks to just cook for one person.

I was actually doing pretty well! I would blog my latest cooking adventure... but I fear it may cause me to lose my anonymity just in case someone I know stumbles upon this blog. It was so delicious though.

I can't wait for my next project now that I have a group of guinea pigs. Another benefit of pharm school- lots of hungry friends that are willing it what you create (once they test it out and make sure it won't make them sick) hahaha.

How to Succeed in Pharmacy School

I've had several people ask me what my secret is to "not failing" and doing "well" on exams. There is no secret, really. It takes a lot of work. People that write it off as "oh it's because you're lucky and you're smart."

That is far from the truth. I work and study really hard, but I also balance it with fun and relaxation. They don't see the countless hours I spend in the horrible library studying for my exams and trying desperately to learn as much as I can before the exam. I find it really obnoxious when people who don't go to class, don't take notes in class, and try to cram everything in in one night think that I don't have to work at all for my grades. Yes, some people don't have to work at all and they gets straight As (those bastards) and some people work even harder than I do and barely pass.

So here's how I get through pharm school:

1) I go to class and here's the secret: I PAY ATTENTION in class. Well, at least try. Haha.
2) I take extensive notes. I will re-write things in a totally dumbed down way just to make sure if I come back to study and suddenly become dumber than a sack of bricks (totally happens all the time) I have a "stupid persons guide" to understanding the notes. It also helps make sure I'm paying attention in class.
3) I re-write my notes. Extremely time consuming... but if I need to get a concept, sometimes it's the only way for me.
4) Make sure you actually understand the concepts instead of just saying "oh yeah I know that" and then coming to it on the exam and going "OH F@#$!"
5) I wake up about 3 hours before an exam to wake myself up and get out of that groggy state and refresh my mind with the material on the exam.
6) Make sure you use any free time to relax and have fun. This is probably the most important part because it will keep you from burning out. I would go INSANE without my "fun time". And don't say there isn't any time. You need to make time.

And that's pretty much what I do. It's pretty simple, but it won't work for everyone. This is just how I do it. Haha so with that disclaimer- I don't want any comments about how I caused you to fail your exams.

Happy New Year!

My, my. It seems my obsession with punctuality in real life takes away from punctuality on this blog. Oh well.

I hope 2012 is going well for all of you! It has been a wonderful, peaceful, quiet new year for me and I am loving it. My Christmas break was much too short though and I am still recovering from my respiratory infection that pretty much ruined my entire break, but I am feeling a lot better! Class on the other hand has been dragging by. I swear time stood so still, we may have actually gone back in time.

I am so grateful for my friends though, especially my friends in pharmacy school. I have met so many amazing and wonderful people that I have no idea what I would do without them in my life. Some days when I wonder if I made the right choice for pharmacy school, I think about the amazing professors and friends I have made here and how different my life would be without them. It really makes me realize I made the right decision for me in coming here.

So 2011, with all your heartbreaks and ups and downs, thank you for always reminding me what's important in life. I'm glad to see you go and I am excited for 2012.

So who thinks the world is gonna end? Not gonna lie, I think it's all a bunch of crock, BUT if it does end HOORAY FOR NOT HAVING TO PAY BACK MY LOANS!!! Not to mention get a real job. Haha. I can die doing what I love the most... being a student. God, I am such a freaking nerd.

another year come and gone

Holy crap. 2011 where the heck did you go?! I have mixed feelings about this year, but at the end of the day I'm probably the happiest I've ever been yay 2011!

I can't help but get all sentimental at the end of every year. I find myself reminiscing about what made me think, laugh, and cry over the past year. No matter how much some of the experiences have sucked, I feel like I learned something valuable from most of the things that have happened to me.

I'm ready for 2012 and everything that it may bring. I have started changing a lot of things in my life and I hope it continues through the new year. Sorry about the crap short post. It's been an exhausting winter break. I've also been sick for the entirety of my break. Suck.

Have a safe and wonderful new year!

Love and Acceptance

You know what I've found since moving to this new place over a year ago? More love and acceptance than I could have ever dreamed of. It's not that I didn't feel that way when I was home, but there I felt like I had to keep a part of myself a secret from my family.

My 'family' here has been nothing but loving. I don't have to be afraid to be who I am and never have to doubt how they feel about me. Or perhaps they are nice to me because they need my help with school. It feels so good to be open and free to be who I am. My sister in law recently told me how proud she was of me, not just for how well I am doing academically, but also how happy I've been. I guess it's true. I feel accepted and loved unconditionally here. Back home I felt trapped because telling my parents I'm gay would mean rejection and untold terrors. I know how they will react- I know their views on homosexuality and I know how set they are in their ways. I know it'll one day get better after I tell them, but the pain and hurt is not something I can handle right now.

I really want to tell my sister and I know she and my brother will handle it well. I just can't trust that my brother will keep the secret for me. I am probably happier than I ever thought I could be. Being gay doesn't define who I am as a person. I am still the person everyone sees and knows. Who I fall in love with may not be traditional, but it's not something I can change so it's not something worth putting effort into trying to change.

There was a time I hated myself. I hated who I was, I hated myself for being gay. It was no way to live. I isolated myself, I let my emotions and hurt get out of control. I am glad that is no longer the case and it made me a stronger person today.

I love who I am and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I hope one day my parents will, too.

I hope that one day kids aren't bullied for being different or being gay. I don't want my children growing up in so much hate.