Sunday, October 24, 2010

The good and bad in life

Before I get into the stuff that's been getting me down, I want to write about things that are going so great in my life right now.

1) I am doing fairly well in school. I have an A in almost all of my courses, a few are teetering on the A- range, but let's not focus on that.
2) I am so involved with so many different things at school, may be too many things, but it's fun
3) I have some amazing nerdy friends. This always makes life more amusing. Plus they understand my nerdy jokes!
4) I have an amazing big who is really sweet and I adore her.
5) I am in pharmacy school. I worked so, so hard to make it here making up for undergrad.
6) I am pretty out and open here and everyone has reacted very well so far.

Ok, so now onto the stuff that gets me down.

1) Physiology. Ugh, the bane of my existence. Some of it is so poorly worded that I just don't understand what they are trying to tell me!!! Help a sister out, please write in clear, grammatically correct English! Granted I'm not great at it, but if you're writing lecture notes please don't word it in a way that makes things look like word vomit.

2) I've just been feeling down lately. I'm not even sure why. It's very annoying. I hate feeling sad for no reason and not being able to shake it.

You know what? I really am not sure why I feel so damn down. Things are going so great for me right now. I mean yeah, I could be doing a lot better. My study habits could be way better, but I am still doing quite well.

My life right now is nothing to be ashamed of. Well not yet at least.

So why with all the great things going for me, do I feel sad? Blah! Hate!!! Maybe I am just so stressed that I am just in a constant state of nausea. Who can be happy when they want to vomit due to stress? haha.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Oh life.

I have no idea what has been wrong with me lately, but I've felt like a narcoleptic. Now if Rx school does one thing for you, it will probably make you a hypochondriac. I had a classmate run up to me frantically asking me to exam their foot. "DO I HAVE DIABETES?? IS THAT AN ULCER??"

Honestly, we spent a good long while looking at pictures of ulcers, and tiny scab on the bottom of your foot does NOT equal ulcer.

Every day I seem to bounce back and forth from being happy that I'm here, that I made the right choice; and some days I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. We can't always be happy. I have met some amazing people and I really do love it. I guess sometimes we all have those days that make us wonder why we do this to ourselves.

I don't even know why I am so exhausted. I think my body is preparing me for next week's hell. Every time I get home I pass out for an hour. I am not one to take naps because I am such a bad insomnia, but the wave of exhaustion just comes over me and I can't keep myself awake. Oh noes! I'm depressed! Yeah, no. I think I've just been too deprived of sleep.

I just feel like I am involved in too many organizations. Maybe I finally bit off more than I can chew. I'm not as young as I used to be and can't keep up with these youngins. Being pulled in 5 different directions does wear you down. But that's a worry for another day. For now it's back to bed for me!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Oh Rx school...

I am not going to lie. I love it here. I love being surrounded by nerds that understand my nerdy jokes and laugh at them too! It's much better than being stared at for a while... before they shake their head and pat me on the head.

What do I hate? I hate physiology. Not the material, just the way it's presented and tested on. The exam was very... tricky. And at 730am, at least for me, I am not capable of thinking like that. Well I am, and I'm not. If he changes a word slightly... it changes the whole answer. The best part is when he asks a question, gives two right answer choices, but one is more correct than the other. BLARGH. It's not that I'm not doing well, as long as I keep things the way they are going and improve physio (or maintain) I am doing rather well. I am just frustrated haha.

What I do love? I love biochemistry. Oh my jebus, my nerd love for biochemistry came back full force when we started metabolism a while back. Yes there is a ton of material to learn, but that was my favorite subject in undergrad. It makes me giddy... It's kind of sad. hahaha.

There are pointless courses, courses that make you wonder how some people got into school (like people that can't do simple algebra and stoichiometry), and just being surrounded by people that think like you and love nerdy things like you do. Well ok, me. haha.

I am enjoying my time, but it's a bit stressful some weeks, but that's what alcohol is for right? Usually (not always) a relaxant and helps stimulate sleep. I could use some of that right now.

I need to post more... but less at 2am after spending 10 hours studying physio and biochem. This weekend sucked so much. I can't wait to party in the City Friday with my homo life partner. He is freaking amazing, and my school putting two homos next to each other randomly in orientation?Amazing. School would suck without him. He makes my life so much gayer.