Friday, July 24, 2009

I feel like a pedestrian in England

If you have ever taken walks around the UK (mostly London), you will understand the title after reading this blog. You may have the right of way walking in the US, but if you ain't in a car in London, you better move your ass outta the way.

I am slowly finding it tolerable to drive again. At least cars don't terrify me as much as they did a few months ago. Granted I have discovered people see you slightly better when you are IN a car and not walking. I can probably safetly and conservatively estimate that I am nearly hit by a car twice a week as a pedestrian.

My favorite incident was when I was walking with two of my cousins to the car after we saw a movie. This car, literally backs up INTO me. At this point I am slamming my hand on their trunk, and seriously considering stabbing my keys into their trunk to get their attention. I wasn't so much concerned about myself as much as the little one. Had I been in less pain, I probably would have sent many dents into that corvett for backing up into me. My other cousin was staring, horrified at what was happening, and yelling KEY THEIR MOTHER-EFFING CAR CAROLYN!!!! WHAT THE F- IS WRONG WITH THEM?

I mean come on...don't people use those rear view mirrors anymore, it's not there for decoration.

Come to think of it, being in downtown LA, probably a good thing I didn't pick a fight with those idiots. Car vs. pedestrian, car usually wins, even if I dent it. And it was also LA and I wasn't armed hahaha.

Another wonderful incident was crossing the street to a local drug store in a business area. Ya know, 15mph, slow, all that good stuff? Well dumb woman on a cell phone in a ugly ass SUV must not have gotten the memo and missed that question during the written portion of the DMV exam because she was going about 30 (and speeds up as she comes closer to us) and nearly hit my 12 year old. I was so pissed after pulling him out of the way, I threw my cell phone at them. (Fuck the cell phone, she almost hit my kid!!!) My 25 year old cousin then decided this was the opportune time to shout GET THE FUCK OFF THE DAMN PHONE YOU FAT BITCH.

I nearly fell over laughing when she said that. I guess when it comes to our 12 year old, we're not very polite people. My cell phone rocks by the way, it only has a few scratches after colliding with her car and the pavement.

Seriously... how can you not see three people in the middle of the street? Especially in the middle of the afternoon.

Hmmm I feel like I need to carry rocks with me whenever I go for a walk now. Good exercise, and useful in case I need to throw it at some idiot that fails to watch where they are going.

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