Friday, August 21, 2009

Coming Out

Coming out is really crazy sometimes. I've pretty much gotten to the point where I think, 'Well if this friend can't handle it, then we were not meant to be friends'. Well, it's still scary. I don't know why I find it so scary sometimes. I guess I've been too babied with everyone at work knowing, my friends knowing, and even a few cousins. The family... I still need to work up enough courage to face that mountain.

Well, today I came out to someone I hadn't spoken to in years. We recently caught up again, and it was really great! Reconnecting with old friends is always an amazing experience. When it goes well at least. I knew that I had to tell her. I can't hide that from someone and then drop it on them later. I don't know, I guess it's better to tell them sooner rather then sometime down the line going 'oh, by the way, I'm gay.'. At least that way I don't have to play that stupid pronoun game. I am terrible at it anyways. I usually slip or make it ridiculously obvious. I am a terrible liar.

I think she was slightly confused at first, mostly because I didn't outright say I was gay. For some reason I am a terribly vague person. She didn't seem to mind, so hopefully things aren't weird after this. Unfortunately my net pooped out on me shortly after. Stupid AT&T.

It was like a weight had lifted. Probably because I spent a few days debating whether or not I should tell her. It's weird, after I come out to someone, I feel so much better. I'll be happy once I find the courage and right time to tell my family. My parents are 'the gays are bad!' types of people, so it may have to wait until I finish everything because I don't think I can handle it right now. haha.


Brahmin in Boston said...

That is indeed nice Carolyn!

I am glad that you could open up to her and got a good response from her.

As you said, it is indeed a good idea to break the news to your parents later.

Carolyn said...

Thanks BinB =)