Sunday, March 1, 2009


I've been having a strange identity crisis. When I was coming out to myself, which seems like forever ago now, I had a really difficult time. I'm sure most people do too, but I had wonderful people around me who supported me which not every one is lucky enough to have. When I finally felt comfortable with myself it was incredible. I felt so much better about myself, more confident.

Now I feel like I'm second guessing myself again. I don't know why I seem to be reverting to the person I was years ago.

In other news that's more interesting than my stupid identity crisis I went snowboarding again. While I was riding the lift I looked down to see two of the silliest things I've seen on the slopes in a while. A guy skiing down in a speedo, yes, a speedo; and a woman skiing down in a bikini. Granted it was a really really hot day, but not that hot.

I've gotten a lot better at boarding, but I still need to build my confidence on landings. I have a hard time sticking landings on jumps and rails.

It's fun to try, but I always end up with sore ribs, an aching arm, and sore quads the next day haha. Oh well, no pain, no gain.

I am sad the season only has a month or so left, but I am excited to start diving again. Especially after I got my new dive boots. I just need my dive partners back haha.


The Surprise Dyke said...

Hang in there, it gets better!

Sidenote-the word verification starts with emo...I find this funny

Carolyn said...

hahaha it has emo in it cos I was being lame and emo that night.

Thanks for the support!

Danielle said...

No worries. I think we all have they doubts about our selves. Like for example last night I was wandering through my pictures on FB (those people tagged of me). And I started to get sad about all the people I wasn't friends with or felt slighted by. Then I started to doubt myself as a friend. So I talked to one of my friends who's on the island north of me, and went to Kyudo practice. And now I feel better.

So long as you recognize that it is a small downer, then no need to fret. You should be the person you are, which is awesome and a really good friend. And I wouldn't change you for the world. (plus I think coming out relieved a lot of pent up angst).

Carolyn said...

I used to be that way sometimes. And then I realized oh wait fuck all those people cos they obviously aren't as awesome as the friends I do have in my life. Seriously, you and the circle are some of the best friends anyone could ever hope for. Ya'll put up with me! And still love me on top of that.

I love you all, even if I can be a moody whore ;)