Enough about school! Let's talk about break!
I forgot how amazing school breaks are. Sure I still have to pull my days in the trenches of retail pharmacy, but they are by far less draining when you are no longer a full time employee. The best part about break, besides avoiding any studying that may be sitting on my desk, is SNOWBOARDING!
The only downside is transportation. Living in two different states (very far apart) means I leave my car behind. I miss the days when I could just take off for the day to hit the slopes because I felt like it. Now I need to find transportation. Lame. With school taking up most of my life, snowboarding has been put in the back burner, but I think it may change when I come back from break.
Being the over analytical, meticulous students we are, we've planned trips around when we could go and not jeopardize our grades. I'm so excited. I really want a new snowboard, and I am tucking away some money for it. Probably not the best idea when I'm in a ton of debt from school loans.
I'm just stoked to go snowboarding tomorrow. I miss my board.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Reality check
Some days I really wonder what is going to happen to the profession I've chosen and worked so hard to get into. I am legitimately frightened that many future graduates will do nothing, but pull down the profession as a whole. I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, nor the sharpest tool in the shed. I've had a long hard fight to get where I am today. I had a second year look at me in disbelief at how genuinely excited I was to have made the Dean's List. Then she didn't believe me when I told her it was the first time. Ever.
My undergrad GPA was less than stellar, and barely met the minimum requirements. The only reason it went slight over the minimum requirements is because I spent 3 years post-undergrad working my ass off and going to school to bring up my GPA.
Most of my classmates now don't believe me when I tell them my undergrad GPA was atrociously bad. I'll admit it, I've failed more than one course. It's not something I go telling people at school, but I find it interesting that someone like me has been able to shake off that not so stellar past and have succeeded beyond even my own expectations. So far. I study harder than most people think I do. I really hate it when people write off all that hard work I put in to me "just being smart". Right-o buddy. They can believe whatever they want.
I guess when people say some of the people that had the mediocre or low GPA really shine in pharmacy school were right. I love the profession and I am damn excited and terrified of all the new information to come in the next few years.
I just hope some of the fools pick up a thing or two, get some real life experience and make themselves a useful professional in the next 3 years.
What do they call a pharmacy student that graduates with a 2.0? Doctor/Pharmacist.
But to be honest, GPA isn't everything. It's what you learn and how you are able to apply it. I'm just slightly scared that I can single out a few people I hope to whatever deity that never have someone's life in their hands because they can't tell a capsule from a suppository. My preceptor was genuinely shocked that I knew basic counseling points on antibiotics. Those are some low standards. Apparently one of my classmates almost switched a two patients' medications at their site, warfarin and atenolol. Thank god it was caught. We've covered warfarin and atenolol several times in different courses. Several. The fact that she couldn't comprehend the consequences of that mistake had it been given to the patient makes me want to slap her.
If only common sense was a skill that could be taught.
My undergrad GPA was less than stellar, and barely met the minimum requirements. The only reason it went slight over the minimum requirements is because I spent 3 years post-undergrad working my ass off and going to school to bring up my GPA.
Most of my classmates now don't believe me when I tell them my undergrad GPA was atrociously bad. I'll admit it, I've failed more than one course. It's not something I go telling people at school, but I find it interesting that someone like me has been able to shake off that not so stellar past and have succeeded beyond even my own expectations. So far. I study harder than most people think I do. I really hate it when people write off all that hard work I put in to me "just being smart". Right-o buddy. They can believe whatever they want.
I guess when people say some of the people that had the mediocre or low GPA really shine in pharmacy school were right. I love the profession and I am damn excited and terrified of all the new information to come in the next few years.
I just hope some of the fools pick up a thing or two, get some real life experience and make themselves a useful professional in the next 3 years.
What do they call a pharmacy student that graduates with a 2.0? Doctor/Pharmacist.
But to be honest, GPA isn't everything. It's what you learn and how you are able to apply it. I'm just slightly scared that I can single out a few people I hope to whatever deity that never have someone's life in their hands because they can't tell a capsule from a suppository. My preceptor was genuinely shocked that I knew basic counseling points on antibiotics. Those are some low standards. Apparently one of my classmates almost switched a two patients' medications at their site, warfarin and atenolol. Thank god it was caught. We've covered warfarin and atenolol several times in different courses. Several. The fact that she couldn't comprehend the consequences of that mistake had it been given to the patient makes me want to slap her.
If only common sense was a skill that could be taught.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Rainbows and Sunshine
Blah, for whatever reason, my motivation to study has gone way down the drain. I think it may have to do with being freaking sick for the past few days. I just feel like crap.
It doesn't help that some of the courses we are taking are so dry and boring that I have trouble staying awake. I can't wait until we get into more interesting courses. I'm excited for my possible electives next quarter, which doesn't even freaking start until way into next year lol. I've already made my top three choices for next quarter instead of studying. hahaha
I can't wait for winter break, even though we have assloads of exams before break (this week), I still have to study during my break. Boo! I just want to hit the slopes and enjoy life for a bit. The first bit of this new quarter has been exhausting. Not being done until 9 or 10 pm when we start our day really freaking early in the morning sucks.
In other news, girlfriend and I are giving it another go. Who was I kidding? I love her to pieces, and even being far from her has not diminished that feeling. She's amazing, hilarious, and smart as hell, what was I ever thinking letting her go?
I am afraid our current agreement may end up hurting one of us though. I don't really want to go into details, just in case someone at my school finds this blog.
I'm happy, school is going alright, I made the dean's list! My life is full of rainbows and sunshine!
I guess I should use that to motivate me to study so I can stay on that list. haha.
<3
It doesn't help that some of the courses we are taking are so dry and boring that I have trouble staying awake. I can't wait until we get into more interesting courses. I'm excited for my possible electives next quarter, which doesn't even freaking start until way into next year lol. I've already made my top three choices for next quarter instead of studying. hahaha
I can't wait for winter break, even though we have assloads of exams before break (this week), I still have to study during my break. Boo! I just want to hit the slopes and enjoy life for a bit. The first bit of this new quarter has been exhausting. Not being done until 9 or 10 pm when we start our day really freaking early in the morning sucks.
In other news, girlfriend and I are giving it another go. Who was I kidding? I love her to pieces, and even being far from her has not diminished that feeling. She's amazing, hilarious, and smart as hell, what was I ever thinking letting her go?
I am afraid our current agreement may end up hurting one of us though. I don't really want to go into details, just in case someone at my school finds this blog.
I'm happy, school is going alright, I made the dean's list! My life is full of rainbows and sunshine!
I guess I should use that to motivate me to study so I can stay on that list. haha.
<3
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Gay husbands
Man, you gotta love 'em. Unless of course you're a woman actually married to a gay man. I profess my love for my gay husband all the time. He makes classes slightly less boring, and he's always good for a laugh. When I started school I figured I'd be the only homo, or maybe one of two homos. Well, I was proven wrong yet again! I mean sure, there's not really that many gay people, or at least out gay people at my school, but I was surprised by the number we have that are out.
I <3 my homo. Do you?
This was a very lame post. I do have a few funny pharmacy stories to share, but I gotta save those for now. I promise I will share them later!
I <3 my homo. Do you?
This was a very lame post. I do have a few funny pharmacy stories to share, but I gotta save those for now. I promise I will share them later!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
There's always one...
Sometimes I really wonder how some people get into pharmacy school. Their inability to derive simple things really makes me wonder. This is why I hate group work. I hate having my grade depend on whomever I get placed with, and let's face it, there are lots of stupid people, even in pharmacy school. Since my grade is on the line... and I have trust issues with most of the people I was placed with, my friend and I pretty much ended up doing all the work. Now most of this group I was placed in had no problem with it. It's in class work, and they sit back and listen as we go through it. I don't mind, because I want the A.
Except you always have that one stupid person that thinks they are a fucking genius! Granted it could be said that person could be me, but I admit when I know something and when I don't, while this person is generally wrong. I do not regard myself as a genius, but I know if I know my shit or not. This person however loves to chime in with their own poorly derived theories and doesn't even come close to the correct answer and continues to argue with me. Luckily another person in my group is intelligent and backs me up.
The best argument was whether or not the 'patient' had respiratory or metabolic acidosis. It was respiratory, but this person really had to ask repeatedly if it was metabolic. Four of us agreed it was respiratory, but for some reason they could not let that fact go! I wanted to punch her in the face because I just wanted to finish it so we could leave.
On another problem it stated in the patient symptoms that the patient was dehydrated. Same person while we were discussing it, asked if we were sure the patient was dehydrated. Holy mother of pharmacy, IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE! I really wish I could duct tape her mouth shut just so we can get our work done.
There are more, but I need to get back to studying. I just needed to get this off my chest haha.
Except you always have that one stupid person that thinks they are a fucking genius! Granted it could be said that person could be me, but I admit when I know something and when I don't, while this person is generally wrong. I do not regard myself as a genius, but I know if I know my shit or not. This person however loves to chime in with their own poorly derived theories and doesn't even come close to the correct answer and continues to argue with me. Luckily another person in my group is intelligent and backs me up.
The best argument was whether or not the 'patient' had respiratory or metabolic acidosis. It was respiratory, but this person really had to ask repeatedly if it was metabolic. Four of us agreed it was respiratory, but for some reason they could not let that fact go! I wanted to punch her in the face because I just wanted to finish it so we could leave.
On another problem it stated in the patient symptoms that the patient was dehydrated. Same person while we were discussing it, asked if we were sure the patient was dehydrated. Holy mother of pharmacy, IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE! I really wish I could duct tape her mouth shut just so we can get our work done.
There are more, but I need to get back to studying. I just needed to get this off my chest haha.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
No Sympathy
A bit ago I was out in the city with a lot of my Rx school friends and it also happened to be the same weekend that my friends were in town! With my time management skills and whatnot I decided it would be awesome to hang out with them all at the same time. Now the group of friends from school was probably say.... 50 people at a crowded bar, and my friends were 3. I gave up trying to drunkenly introduce them after about the first 10 because let's face it, no one is going to remember shit considering how trashed half of us were.
When my friends saw the state of us, and I explained that we study hard and play harder she looked at me with disbelief. "NO SYMPATHY FOR YOU! I thought pharm school would be hard, but apparently you guys have plenty of fun along with it!" Psh, just because we know how to party doesn't mean we don't take school seriously! Or that it's easy. A lot of the PS3's that were there are amazing students that I wish I could be! It was a crazy night, I was running all around that bar and talking to so many people it's such a blur.
We still had an amazing time though. Everyone was feelin' good with some good ol' EtOH and some good music. I was... a bit too hammered for my own good. There was a lot of dancing and people were grabbing me and hugging me. It was very strange. The boys really love to umm... grind, or just flat out hump people as their form of dancing. Seriously, if I don't know how I would react to that if I were straight. Haha. For me, I just flat out didn't care. Granted I've never had so many penises pressed up against me, but it was an experience to say the least. One boy even kissed me in his drunken stupor.
Apparently in my drunken state my reaction is to stop all forms of moving, stand there with a stupid look on my face and... pull out the gay card. "Yo bro (yes I talk like a dumbass when drunk) I'm gay. You know this, and I know this. Be cool."
Why do I say the things I do? I blame it on the alcohol. I got lots of love that night from everyone though, and by love I mean squeals and hugs.
I love my school, I am loving my life, I just hate the exams. It just ruins everything haha.
Speaking of school, I am on my way to the Dean's List as long as I don't fuck up my finals!! This is exciting for me because I have always been a mediocre student, so making it onto Dean's list was be awesome. Especially since none of our classes are curved, so I will really feel like I earned it.
My brain does hurt though. Studying sucks.
When my friends saw the state of us, and I explained that we study hard and play harder she looked at me with disbelief. "NO SYMPATHY FOR YOU! I thought pharm school would be hard, but apparently you guys have plenty of fun along with it!" Psh, just because we know how to party doesn't mean we don't take school seriously! Or that it's easy. A lot of the PS3's that were there are amazing students that I wish I could be! It was a crazy night, I was running all around that bar and talking to so many people it's such a blur.
We still had an amazing time though. Everyone was feelin' good with some good ol' EtOH and some good music. I was... a bit too hammered for my own good. There was a lot of dancing and people were grabbing me and hugging me. It was very strange. The boys really love to umm... grind, or just flat out hump people as their form of dancing. Seriously, if I don't know how I would react to that if I were straight. Haha. For me, I just flat out didn't care. Granted I've never had so many penises pressed up against me, but it was an experience to say the least. One boy even kissed me in his drunken stupor.
Apparently in my drunken state my reaction is to stop all forms of moving, stand there with a stupid look on my face and... pull out the gay card. "Yo bro (yes I talk like a dumbass when drunk) I'm gay. You know this, and I know this. Be cool."
Why do I say the things I do? I blame it on the alcohol. I got lots of love that night from everyone though, and by love I mean squeals and hugs.
I love my school, I am loving my life, I just hate the exams. It just ruins everything haha.
Speaking of school, I am on my way to the Dean's List as long as I don't fuck up my finals!! This is exciting for me because I have always been a mediocre student, so making it onto Dean's list was be awesome. Especially since none of our classes are curved, so I will really feel like I earned it.
My brain does hurt though. Studying sucks.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
The good and bad in life
Before I get into the stuff that's been getting me down, I want to write about things that are going so great in my life right now.
1) I am doing fairly well in school. I have an A in almost all of my courses, a few are teetering on the A- range, but let's not focus on that.
2) I am so involved with so many different things at school, may be too many things, but it's fun
3) I have some amazing nerdy friends. This always makes life more amusing. Plus they understand my nerdy jokes!
4) I have an amazing big who is really sweet and I adore her.
5) I am in pharmacy school. I worked so, so hard to make it here making up for undergrad.
6) I am pretty out and open here and everyone has reacted very well so far.
Ok, so now onto the stuff that gets me down.
1) Physiology. Ugh, the bane of my existence. Some of it is so poorly worded that I just don't understand what they are trying to tell me!!! Help a sister out, please write in clear, grammatically correct English! Granted I'm not great at it, but if you're writing lecture notes please don't word it in a way that makes things look like word vomit.
2) I've just been feeling down lately. I'm not even sure why. It's very annoying. I hate feeling sad for no reason and not being able to shake it.
You know what? I really am not sure why I feel so damn down. Things are going so great for me right now. I mean yeah, I could be doing a lot better. My study habits could be way better, but I am still doing quite well.
My life right now is nothing to be ashamed of. Well not yet at least.
So why with all the great things going for me, do I feel sad? Blah! Hate!!! Maybe I am just so stressed that I am just in a constant state of nausea. Who can be happy when they want to vomit due to stress? haha.
1) I am doing fairly well in school. I have an A in almost all of my courses, a few are teetering on the A- range, but let's not focus on that.
2) I am so involved with so many different things at school, may be too many things, but it's fun
3) I have some amazing nerdy friends. This always makes life more amusing. Plus they understand my nerdy jokes!
4) I have an amazing big who is really sweet and I adore her.
5) I am in pharmacy school. I worked so, so hard to make it here making up for undergrad.
6) I am pretty out and open here and everyone has reacted very well so far.
Ok, so now onto the stuff that gets me down.
1) Physiology. Ugh, the bane of my existence. Some of it is so poorly worded that I just don't understand what they are trying to tell me!!! Help a sister out, please write in clear, grammatically correct English! Granted I'm not great at it, but if you're writing lecture notes please don't word it in a way that makes things look like word vomit.
2) I've just been feeling down lately. I'm not even sure why. It's very annoying. I hate feeling sad for no reason and not being able to shake it.
You know what? I really am not sure why I feel so damn down. Things are going so great for me right now. I mean yeah, I could be doing a lot better. My study habits could be way better, but I am still doing quite well.
My life right now is nothing to be ashamed of. Well not yet at least.
So why with all the great things going for me, do I feel sad? Blah! Hate!!! Maybe I am just so stressed that I am just in a constant state of nausea. Who can be happy when they want to vomit due to stress? haha.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Oh life.
I have no idea what has been wrong with me lately, but I've felt like a narcoleptic. Now if Rx school does one thing for you, it will probably make you a hypochondriac. I had a classmate run up to me frantically asking me to exam their foot. "DO I HAVE DIABETES?? IS THAT AN ULCER??"
Honestly, we spent a good long while looking at pictures of ulcers, and tiny scab on the bottom of your foot does NOT equal ulcer.
Every day I seem to bounce back and forth from being happy that I'm here, that I made the right choice; and some days I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. We can't always be happy. I have met some amazing people and I really do love it. I guess sometimes we all have those days that make us wonder why we do this to ourselves.
I don't even know why I am so exhausted. I think my body is preparing me for next week's hell. Every time I get home I pass out for an hour. I am not one to take naps because I am such a bad insomnia, but the wave of exhaustion just comes over me and I can't keep myself awake. Oh noes! I'm depressed! Yeah, no. I think I've just been too deprived of sleep.
I just feel like I am involved in too many organizations. Maybe I finally bit off more than I can chew. I'm not as young as I used to be and can't keep up with these youngins. Being pulled in 5 different directions does wear you down. But that's a worry for another day. For now it's back to bed for me!
Honestly, we spent a good long while looking at pictures of ulcers, and tiny scab on the bottom of your foot does NOT equal ulcer.
Every day I seem to bounce back and forth from being happy that I'm here, that I made the right choice; and some days I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. We can't always be happy. I have met some amazing people and I really do love it. I guess sometimes we all have those days that make us wonder why we do this to ourselves.
I don't even know why I am so exhausted. I think my body is preparing me for next week's hell. Every time I get home I pass out for an hour. I am not one to take naps because I am such a bad insomnia, but the wave of exhaustion just comes over me and I can't keep myself awake. Oh noes! I'm depressed! Yeah, no. I think I've just been too deprived of sleep.
I just feel like I am involved in too many organizations. Maybe I finally bit off more than I can chew. I'm not as young as I used to be and can't keep up with these youngins. Being pulled in 5 different directions does wear you down. But that's a worry for another day. For now it's back to bed for me!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Oh Rx school...
I am not going to lie. I love it here. I love being surrounded by nerds that understand my nerdy jokes and laugh at them too! It's much better than being stared at for a while... before they shake their head and pat me on the head.
What do I hate? I hate physiology. Not the material, just the way it's presented and tested on. The exam was very... tricky. And at 730am, at least for me, I am not capable of thinking like that. Well I am, and I'm not. If he changes a word slightly... it changes the whole answer. The best part is when he asks a question, gives two right answer choices, but one is more correct than the other. BLARGH. It's not that I'm not doing well, as long as I keep things the way they are going and improve physio (or maintain) I am doing rather well. I am just frustrated haha.
What I do love? I love biochemistry. Oh my jebus, my nerd love for biochemistry came back full force when we started metabolism a while back. Yes there is a ton of material to learn, but that was my favorite subject in undergrad. It makes me giddy... It's kind of sad. hahaha.
There are pointless courses, courses that make you wonder how some people got into school (like people that can't do simple algebra and stoichiometry), and just being surrounded by people that think like you and love nerdy things like you do. Well ok, me. haha.
I am enjoying my time, but it's a bit stressful some weeks, but that's what alcohol is for right? Usually (not always) a relaxant and helps stimulate sleep. I could use some of that right now.
I need to post more... but less at 2am after spending 10 hours studying physio and biochem. This weekend sucked so much. I can't wait to party in the City Friday with my homo life partner. He is freaking amazing, and my school putting two homos next to each other randomly in orientation?Amazing. School would suck without him. He makes my life so much gayer.
What do I hate? I hate physiology. Not the material, just the way it's presented and tested on. The exam was very... tricky. And at 730am, at least for me, I am not capable of thinking like that. Well I am, and I'm not. If he changes a word slightly... it changes the whole answer. The best part is when he asks a question, gives two right answer choices, but one is more correct than the other. BLARGH. It's not that I'm not doing well, as long as I keep things the way they are going and improve physio (or maintain) I am doing rather well. I am just frustrated haha.
What I do love? I love biochemistry. Oh my jebus, my nerd love for biochemistry came back full force when we started metabolism a while back. Yes there is a ton of material to learn, but that was my favorite subject in undergrad. It makes me giddy... It's kind of sad. hahaha.
There are pointless courses, courses that make you wonder how some people got into school (like people that can't do simple algebra and stoichiometry), and just being surrounded by people that think like you and love nerdy things like you do. Well ok, me. haha.
I am enjoying my time, but it's a bit stressful some weeks, but that's what alcohol is for right? Usually (not always) a relaxant and helps stimulate sleep. I could use some of that right now.
I need to post more... but less at 2am after spending 10 hours studying physio and biochem. This weekend sucked so much. I can't wait to party in the City Friday with my homo life partner. He is freaking amazing, and my school putting two homos next to each other randomly in orientation?Amazing. School would suck without him. He makes my life so much gayer.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Puppy love
Ohh a post! See, it wasn't really farewell! I can never make up my mind!
The day has come for me to pack up and move! I'm terrified and excited all a the same time. I'm excited for school, new adventures, and starting in a new place, but I am having some serious separation anxiety.
I have a 3 year old dog and I have become insanely attached to him. If I am away from home for longer than 3 days I get homesick for him! It was a really really hard decision to leave him behind (with my parentals!! not giving him up! I could never do that!). I just know it wouldn't be fair to him to be couped up in a tiny apartment all by himself most of the day when he has a whole house and yard here. We haven't been apart for more than a week at one time since I got him 3 years ago!
I know it sounds like I'm some kind of crazy dog lady, but I just adore my puppy. He's such a sweet baby! I'm not the crazy kind that dresses their dog up. That creeps me out. I did put devil horns on him once for halloween though...
Anyways so yes, with each day I've had more and more anxiety about leaving him behind. This entry sounds a bit manic. I will blame it on all the stress of packing, moving, and trying to fit in family and friend time before the move. I've become so flustered that I have double booked myself several times this week. Friday for example, I had lunch plans with 2 different people and 2 different dinner plans too. Why can't I keep these things straight?!
The day has come for me to pack up and move! I'm terrified and excited all a the same time. I'm excited for school, new adventures, and starting in a new place, but I am having some serious separation anxiety.
I have a 3 year old dog and I have become insanely attached to him. If I am away from home for longer than 3 days I get homesick for him! It was a really really hard decision to leave him behind (with my parentals!! not giving him up! I could never do that!). I just know it wouldn't be fair to him to be couped up in a tiny apartment all by himself most of the day when he has a whole house and yard here. We haven't been apart for more than a week at one time since I got him 3 years ago!
I know it sounds like I'm some kind of crazy dog lady, but I just adore my puppy. He's such a sweet baby! I'm not the crazy kind that dresses their dog up. That creeps me out. I did put devil horns on him once for halloween though...
Anyways so yes, with each day I've had more and more anxiety about leaving him behind. This entry sounds a bit manic. I will blame it on all the stress of packing, moving, and trying to fit in family and friend time before the move. I've become so flustered that I have double booked myself several times this week. Friday for example, I had lunch plans with 2 different people and 2 different dinner plans too. Why can't I keep these things straight?!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
A farewell!
I'm only in the trenches part time nowadays, and with school looming very near in the future I am thinking about closing this blog. I may not have time and honestly I can be a bit paranoid about this blog getting out to some people.
I may keep the blog running, it really all depends. I've been spending my last days of freedom being asked to cover more shifts and the free days frolicking about with people I love and just enjoying my time.
Thanks to everyone who has kept up with this blog. I may not actually end it here, but I wanted to say farewell just in case I forget to later. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am someone who will know exactly what happened with a certain script out of the thousand we do in a day, yet forget what I have planned for the next day. Thanks for all the support and funny comments! I will continue keeping up with everyone's blogs, time has just been flying lately.
Check out the blogs on my blogroll! They are pretty great. Everything from pharmacy to hilarious gay centered blogs. Always good for a laugh, smile, and sometimes very insightful!
I may keep the blog running, it really all depends. I've been spending my last days of freedom being asked to cover more shifts and the free days frolicking about with people I love and just enjoying my time.
Thanks to everyone who has kept up with this blog. I may not actually end it here, but I wanted to say farewell just in case I forget to later. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am someone who will know exactly what happened with a certain script out of the thousand we do in a day, yet forget what I have planned for the next day. Thanks for all the support and funny comments! I will continue keeping up with everyone's blogs, time has just been flying lately.
Check out the blogs on my blogroll! They are pretty great. Everything from pharmacy to hilarious gay centered blogs. Always good for a laugh, smile, and sometimes very insightful!
Monday, August 2, 2010
McDouchebag
Sorry about my slight absence. Ok, I'm not really sorry because I had an amazing vacation. I was on vacation with my best friend and we galavanted about for a week at an undisclosed location and had an amazing time! I missed her! My legs are now less blindingly white and slightly match the color of my upper body.
Now I'm back in the pharmacy trenches for just a few more short weeks. Time has flown by much too quickly and I need to start packing my life away.
Here are some quick funny pharmacy moments that make me die a little inside.
How can I help you? "I need to pick up something." Ok... are you picking up a prescription? "Yes." What's the last name you're picking up for? "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?" Umm. I don't think I can really help you any further unless you know the name you're picking up for.
While I'm talking to a patient and collecting the 'information' the ass of a store manager strolls about the pharmacy (while the phones are ringing off the hook and the drive thru bell is making that hideous noise) and asks me why I haven't answered the phone yet and helped them. I point to the patient that I'm talking to and I think he finally gets it through his fat head that I am busy at the moment. Yeah assface, just stand there and tell us how we could be 'more efficient' instead of making yourself useful. Then again I've seen his "helping out" and it's better when he's just not within 100 feet of the pharmacy.
Even better, while I was on the phone, he asks me why I haven't answered the other phone call. The only answer short of the finger I could give him was a dirty look and pointing to the phone that I am currently talking into. Now I've had two different handsets to my head before (one on a call while on hold with an insurance company), because I have great multi-tasking abilities, but this was not one of those moments where I can talk to two people at once. Why don't YOU answer the phone call you dumbass?
Sorry, this guy just freaking grinds my gears. Since the pharmacy makes a billion dollars profit for the store, he gets a nice cushy bonus. Our former store manager understood that the front store was where their help was needed. The pharmacy runs very efficiently for the volume of the store, so we were left alone until McDouchebag transferred in. Then came the stupid suggestions on how to do our work faster, when in reality he is slowing us down. I've learned to ignore him and stare off into space and concentrate on not killing a patient and nod every once in a while pretending to agree with whatever new douchebaggery suggestions he has to 'do things better'.
I will not miss him, but I will miss my staff. Such an amazing group of people for the most part! We make each other laugh to get through the day so we don't jump over the counter and yell into people's faces. I just can't believe how quickly time is flying.
Now I'm back in the pharmacy trenches for just a few more short weeks. Time has flown by much too quickly and I need to start packing my life away.
Here are some quick funny pharmacy moments that make me die a little inside.
How can I help you? "I need to pick up something." Ok... are you picking up a prescription? "Yes." What's the last name you're picking up for? "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?" Umm. I don't think I can really help you any further unless you know the name you're picking up for.
While I'm talking to a patient and collecting the 'information' the ass of a store manager strolls about the pharmacy (while the phones are ringing off the hook and the drive thru bell is making that hideous noise) and asks me why I haven't answered the phone yet and helped them. I point to the patient that I'm talking to and I think he finally gets it through his fat head that I am busy at the moment. Yeah assface, just stand there and tell us how we could be 'more efficient' instead of making yourself useful. Then again I've seen his "helping out" and it's better when he's just not within 100 feet of the pharmacy.
Even better, while I was on the phone, he asks me why I haven't answered the other phone call. The only answer short of the finger I could give him was a dirty look and pointing to the phone that I am currently talking into. Now I've had two different handsets to my head before (one on a call while on hold with an insurance company), because I have great multi-tasking abilities, but this was not one of those moments where I can talk to two people at once. Why don't YOU answer the phone call you dumbass?
Sorry, this guy just freaking grinds my gears. Since the pharmacy makes a billion dollars profit for the store, he gets a nice cushy bonus. Our former store manager understood that the front store was where their help was needed. The pharmacy runs very efficiently for the volume of the store, so we were left alone until McDouchebag transferred in. Then came the stupid suggestions on how to do our work faster, when in reality he is slowing us down. I've learned to ignore him and stare off into space and concentrate on not killing a patient and nod every once in a while pretending to agree with whatever new douchebaggery suggestions he has to 'do things better'.
I will not miss him, but I will miss my staff. Such an amazing group of people for the most part! We make each other laugh to get through the day so we don't jump over the counter and yell into people's faces. I just can't believe how quickly time is flying.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Me? A homophobe?
I picked up an extra shift today as a favour for an old RX manager because something happened to her closing tech. I hadn't been to this store since '08 or '09, but from what I remember it wasn't too bad.
The store, regardless of how I remember it, is one of the most bipolar stores I have ever been in. At least at my store I know 99% have sticks up their ass, here, it was so random! Half the time they would snap at me, the other half would be really nice, and some started out nice, snaps at me when I ask them a routine question, and then apologizes?
I was so confused. But this is my usual state of mind. It wasn't until I helped rather toothless large man that things went from strange to WHAT THE FUCK?
I couldn't really tell what the passenger looked like as she was blocked by the large toothless man, but the name was for a male. Alright, it's an estrogen shot, gotcha trans. That's cool. Whatever. I've dated someone that was trans before except it was FTM. Not a big deal for me.
There was one large problem, this particular shot had a generic available and this patient wanted brand. This patient was also on a state funded medicaid program. Since the state is pretty broke, a rejection popped up saying PA required, generic must be dispensed. When I informed the patient they went all ghetto on my ass.
"Nuh-uh you don't know whatchu talkin bout do your fucking homework beetch. Fucking homophobe. I want someone else to help me bitch."
I literally was speechless. I set the phone down, walked over and said "Um... they don't want me to help them? Asked for somone else?"
Apparently they knew alllll about these two. Yeesh.
Then I broke out hysterically into laughter because she called me a homophobe. Everyone thought I had lost my mind. Most people I work with know full well I love the ladies, but I haven't really worked with these two before so I'm sure they were wondering what was so funny. (I don't announce it, most people either figure it out, or whatever. I personlly don't care who knows, but I'm not going to broadcast it.)
I don't care if you're black, yellow, brown, orange, pink, or rainbow colored. If your broke ass can't get a job, you should take what the state gives you. Not I want brand this and that. You want it, you pay for it. I have to pay for my own insurace that barely covers shit! I work hard to pay my bills and part of my hard earned money is being wasted on state funded medicaid. I know that some people need it and that's fine, but not people in big ass cars that would take an entire day of my pay to fill the tank up. Sell your fucking car if you 'can't afford you meds'.
This is starting to turn into an angry rant about medicaid, so I will stop here.
The store, regardless of how I remember it, is one of the most bipolar stores I have ever been in. At least at my store I know 99% have sticks up their ass, here, it was so random! Half the time they would snap at me, the other half would be really nice, and some started out nice, snaps at me when I ask them a routine question, and then apologizes?
I was so confused. But this is my usual state of mind. It wasn't until I helped rather toothless large man that things went from strange to WHAT THE FUCK?
I couldn't really tell what the passenger looked like as she was blocked by the large toothless man, but the name was for a male. Alright, it's an estrogen shot, gotcha trans. That's cool. Whatever. I've dated someone that was trans before except it was FTM. Not a big deal for me.
There was one large problem, this particular shot had a generic available and this patient wanted brand. This patient was also on a state funded medicaid program. Since the state is pretty broke, a rejection popped up saying PA required, generic must be dispensed. When I informed the patient they went all ghetto on my ass.
"Nuh-uh you don't know whatchu talkin bout do your fucking homework beetch. Fucking homophobe. I want someone else to help me bitch."
I literally was speechless. I set the phone down, walked over and said "Um... they don't want me to help them? Asked for somone else?"
Apparently they knew alllll about these two. Yeesh.
Then I broke out hysterically into laughter because she called me a homophobe. Everyone thought I had lost my mind. Most people I work with know full well I love the ladies, but I haven't really worked with these two before so I'm sure they were wondering what was so funny. (I don't announce it, most people either figure it out, or whatever. I personlly don't care who knows, but I'm not going to broadcast it.)
I don't care if you're black, yellow, brown, orange, pink, or rainbow colored. If your broke ass can't get a job, you should take what the state gives you. Not I want brand this and that. You want it, you pay for it. I have to pay for my own insurace that barely covers shit! I work hard to pay my bills and part of my hard earned money is being wasted on state funded medicaid. I know that some people need it and that's fine, but not people in big ass cars that would take an entire day of my pay to fill the tank up. Sell your fucking car if you 'can't afford you meds'.
This is starting to turn into an angry rant about medicaid, so I will stop here.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Scrambling for hours?
Ya know, in this economy with all the crazy crap happening, especially in the world of retail pharmacy, you really can't be choosy when it comes to getting your hours right? Not me. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have a job! I just want a break before school, which is getting shorter and shorter with all the extra shifts people have asked me to take.
Apparently my apathy towards getting hours and wanting to spend more time off before school makes me a hot commodity. I feel bad for people struggling to get their hours and make ends meet, which is another reason I cut my own hours. I figure, I should make them available for people who need it! I guess my manager does not appreciate this sentiment. I am trying to make her realize that in a few weeks, I'm not going to be around anymore to bail them out. They need to find a new person to rely on! This has only made her want to schedule me as much as possible. I mean, I can't complain, money is money and I really should get as much as I can before school.
This has a negative affect on me though. It gives me that stupid ego, oh everyone wants me, blah blah blah. Couple that with my apathy for work because my vacation is looming in a mere few days, it's disastrous. I'm sure when my pharmacists (I know a lot, it's good to network!) call from other stores looking for coverage, they would literally think wtf is wrong with you? I'm offering you precious HOURS! with the line of questions I ask before responding yes or no.
Basically, when people call me to pick up a shift (once they found out I only did 4 days a week and no longer OT, I get offers left and right. It's kind of ridiculous.) I ask these questions:
1) Which store? (You know, everyone's got a store in a district people loathe working in, I certainly do)
2)When is the shift? (I want later if I'm drinking the night before, lol)
3) Who am I working with? (Super important. A bad coworker leads to a bad day at work.)
When I ask this, people find it hilarious. Probably because they know me pretty well. Eh, I guess when you're good at what you do, people will put up with more BS. I am just grateful they all relate to my stupid humour. Hey, if I have to work more than I want to, I'm going to try and make it as painless as possible.
You never know, they may all secretly hate me. Regardless, being a competent tech is apparently a rare commodity around here, so they accept me as I am. haha.
Apparently my apathy towards getting hours and wanting to spend more time off before school makes me a hot commodity. I feel bad for people struggling to get their hours and make ends meet, which is another reason I cut my own hours. I figure, I should make them available for people who need it! I guess my manager does not appreciate this sentiment. I am trying to make her realize that in a few weeks, I'm not going to be around anymore to bail them out. They need to find a new person to rely on! This has only made her want to schedule me as much as possible. I mean, I can't complain, money is money and I really should get as much as I can before school.
This has a negative affect on me though. It gives me that stupid ego, oh everyone wants me, blah blah blah. Couple that with my apathy for work because my vacation is looming in a mere few days, it's disastrous. I'm sure when my pharmacists (I know a lot, it's good to network!) call from other stores looking for coverage, they would literally think wtf is wrong with you? I'm offering you precious HOURS! with the line of questions I ask before responding yes or no.
Basically, when people call me to pick up a shift (once they found out I only did 4 days a week and no longer OT, I get offers left and right. It's kind of ridiculous.) I ask these questions:
1) Which store? (You know, everyone's got a store in a district people loathe working in, I certainly do)
2)When is the shift? (I want later if I'm drinking the night before, lol)
3) Who am I working with? (Super important. A bad coworker leads to a bad day at work.)
When I ask this, people find it hilarious. Probably because they know me pretty well. Eh, I guess when you're good at what you do, people will put up with more BS. I am just grateful they all relate to my stupid humour. Hey, if I have to work more than I want to, I'm going to try and make it as painless as possible.
You never know, they may all secretly hate me. Regardless, being a competent tech is apparently a rare commodity around here, so they accept me as I am. haha.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Receptionists that you just want to strangle.
RARRRR. I hate freaking E-Rx's sometimes. From some ridiculous quantities, incomplete Rx's, or when they decide send the same script TWICE through E-scribe, once through the fax, and also to the pharmacy down the street. SERIOUSLY?
What I hate even more are refill requests for prescribers on E-scribe. You cannot "refax it" easily if they didn't get it the first time. My favorite is "We don't have e-scribe." .... but your doctor and entire office has an ID number... and you sent us one last week. "Oh.. What's e-scribe?"
Today I just wanted to rip this office a new one.
"We e-faxed a request through e-scribe 4 days ago."
"Oh that's not our patient."
... That's not what you told them 10 minutes ago.
"Oh, THAT patient (wtf??) we never got anything. Can you fax it again?"
"We did, we faxed you manually yesterday to the number you gave us, and this morning. Can you give us a verbal rx because your fax machine does not seem to be working?"
"We need you to fax us."
"Ok I will, but your fax machine does not seem to be working so how will I know if you recieve it?"
"I'll call you."
I refax it again and this goes on periodically for the next 4 hours. The patient calls us screaming at us for 'not faxing the doctor the refill request' because they still haven't recieved anything. Bitch never called back of course. So we kept calling because they kept yelling at us to call because "Obviously we are not doing our job."
By the third call and manual fax to the office I wanted to strangle this receptionist. I asked her, if we had faxed it to the office THREE times today in the last 5 hours and she hasn't recieved ONE What makes her think that it will go through NOW?
"Just fax it again." BITCH YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!!! was screaming in my head. Instead I just asked her to ask the doctor to call in a new RX so the patient can have their medication before they close. "No. We need you to fax us."
AWOIJEOIAWJFOWIJE Jesus fucking christ is your fax machine on???
The last time I called I got someone different. Thank fucking god, because I was ready to break something. We fax it one more time, and they turned on the fax machine finally and I get a call 45 minutes later that they got it and will call us back later.
Fuck that I'm off shift. Good luck with that shit. The patient was a lot nicer in the end. I told her the whole ordeal and that we tried to get them to give us a new rx over the phone because of their fax issue, and she offered to go down to the office herself if they wouldn't take care of it. I hope she bitch slaps that receptionist.
What I hate even more are refill requests for prescribers on E-scribe. You cannot "refax it" easily if they didn't get it the first time. My favorite is "We don't have e-scribe." .... but your doctor and entire office has an ID number... and you sent us one last week. "Oh.. What's e-scribe?"
Today I just wanted to rip this office a new one.
"We e-faxed a request through e-scribe 4 days ago."
"Oh that's not our patient."
... That's not what you told them 10 minutes ago.
"Oh, THAT patient (wtf??) we never got anything. Can you fax it again?"
"We did, we faxed you manually yesterday to the number you gave us, and this morning. Can you give us a verbal rx because your fax machine does not seem to be working?"
"We need you to fax us."
"Ok I will, but your fax machine does not seem to be working so how will I know if you recieve it?"
"I'll call you."
I refax it again and this goes on periodically for the next 4 hours. The patient calls us screaming at us for 'not faxing the doctor the refill request' because they still haven't recieved anything. Bitch never called back of course. So we kept calling because they kept yelling at us to call because "Obviously we are not doing our job."
By the third call and manual fax to the office I wanted to strangle this receptionist. I asked her, if we had faxed it to the office THREE times today in the last 5 hours and she hasn't recieved ONE What makes her think that it will go through NOW?
"Just fax it again." BITCH YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!!! was screaming in my head. Instead I just asked her to ask the doctor to call in a new RX so the patient can have their medication before they close. "No. We need you to fax us."
AWOIJEOIAWJFOWIJE Jesus fucking christ is your fax machine on???
The last time I called I got someone different. Thank fucking god, because I was ready to break something. We fax it one more time, and they turned on the fax machine finally and I get a call 45 minutes later that they got it and will call us back later.
Fuck that I'm off shift. Good luck with that shit. The patient was a lot nicer in the end. I told her the whole ordeal and that we tried to get them to give us a new rx over the phone because of their fax issue, and she offered to go down to the office herself if they wouldn't take care of it. I hope she bitch slaps that receptionist.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Hello... Goodbye.
I'm not sure if there are many people that work in a pharmacy where every one is like family. I've heard stories of ones where everyone hates each other. How much would that suck? My pharm family is usually what gets me through the day. Although they will get on your nerves just like your real family.
The day I got into pharmacy school was a really happy one. The day I met The Girlfriend was a really drunk, but happy one. The day I chose between a school much loser to home and a school over 2000 miles away, was a hard one. When I signed my life away and committed to a school farther away, it made me sad. In the end though, I made the decision to go somewhere I would be happiest, not what would make this relationship easiest.
A month or so ago we agreed to break up in August when I left. It wasn't an easy decision and over these short 3 months she changed my life. My coworkers were split between begging us to stay together and saying that we should just end it now. (Like I said, they love gettin' in your business, just like family.)
I've never really connected with anyone quite like the way I connected with her, and I guess she felt the same way. We were both reluctant on the decision, but logic always wins in our debates.
I broke up with her last night. I just couldn't drag it out any longer. As happy as I am with her, knowing tht we were going our separate ways in two months just made me so sad. I couldn't imagine how much it would hurt by the time August rolled around.
I think I may regret this later.
The day I got into pharmacy school was a really happy one. The day I met The Girlfriend was a really drunk, but happy one. The day I chose between a school much loser to home and a school over 2000 miles away, was a hard one. When I signed my life away and committed to a school farther away, it made me sad. In the end though, I made the decision to go somewhere I would be happiest, not what would make this relationship easiest.
A month or so ago we agreed to break up in August when I left. It wasn't an easy decision and over these short 3 months she changed my life. My coworkers were split between begging us to stay together and saying that we should just end it now. (Like I said, they love gettin' in your business, just like family.)
I've never really connected with anyone quite like the way I connected with her, and I guess she felt the same way. We were both reluctant on the decision, but logic always wins in our debates.
I broke up with her last night. I just couldn't drag it out any longer. As happy as I am with her, knowing tht we were going our separate ways in two months just made me so sad. I couldn't imagine how much it would hurt by the time August rolled around.
I think I may regret this later.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Compounding woes
I enjoy compounding medications, for me it's fun and it's kind of like being back in my lab. There are many things that really suck about it though. This is mostly due to the fact that you're compounding in a retail pharmacy and not a specialty one.
Patients trying to scare the crap out of you, well they do that indirectly by saying the suspension that was compounded was shorted to them. Um, if there wasn't enough solution then that could mean the active ingredient was not properly diluted with the 'delivery vehicle'. There was NO way this particular one was 'shorted'. This is usually code for "I am a fucking idiot and gave my kid too much" or "I spilled it, but will blame it on you instead."
I triple check all my suspensions' volumes before and after they are combined. Then that gets checked by the RPh on duty. Shitty part is, thanks to the world of corpo pharmacy, we just have to 'accept it' and give them more.
I also like compounding because most people leave you alone when you are wearing gloves, a face mask (for some powders this is a must), and holding some strange looking objects. Unfortunately, there are always those dipshits that shout "HEY I NEED TO PICK UP MY MEDS!" at you while you're trying to pour the suppository mixture into the mold with your back to them. Then go to the pick up window dumbass. Do you see a cash register back here?
Sometimes when I'm holding a 50ml syringe with an 18G needle mischevious thoughts run through my mind, I giggle to myself a bit then return to my work while my coworkers stare with a frightened look on their face. They know I'd never hurt them, I work with some of the best people, but I guess you never know when that last straw breaks the mules back.
And of course when they want their compounded med "right now." Sure thing, let me pull it out of my ass.
Patients trying to scare the crap out of you, well they do that indirectly by saying the suspension that was compounded was shorted to them. Um, if there wasn't enough solution then that could mean the active ingredient was not properly diluted with the 'delivery vehicle'. There was NO way this particular one was 'shorted'. This is usually code for "I am a fucking idiot and gave my kid too much" or "I spilled it, but will blame it on you instead."
I triple check all my suspensions' volumes before and after they are combined. Then that gets checked by the RPh on duty. Shitty part is, thanks to the world of corpo pharmacy, we just have to 'accept it' and give them more.
I also like compounding because most people leave you alone when you are wearing gloves, a face mask (for some powders this is a must), and holding some strange looking objects. Unfortunately, there are always those dipshits that shout "HEY I NEED TO PICK UP MY MEDS!" at you while you're trying to pour the suppository mixture into the mold with your back to them. Then go to the pick up window dumbass. Do you see a cash register back here?
Sometimes when I'm holding a 50ml syringe with an 18G needle mischevious thoughts run through my mind, I giggle to myself a bit then return to my work while my coworkers stare with a frightened look on their face. They know I'd never hurt them, I work with some of the best people, but I guess you never know when that last straw breaks the mules back.
And of course when they want their compounded med "right now." Sure thing, let me pull it out of my ass.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Oh snap, you just got pwned druggie.
Ya know, patients say a lot of strange/weird/stupid things to me, but I think this guy takes the cake.
Patient "I need to know if I can get this refilled now."
I get the info, turns out to be a narcotic, filled for a month supply less than 2 weeks ago.
Me "Sorry sir, this can't be filled until this date because you just got it filled less than 2 weeks ago."
Patient "No! You only gave me 60 tablets and it says here to take it twice a day so that's FOUR TABLETS A DAY. EVERY SIX HOURS." (he left out that the part where it's only as needed"
Me "Sir, twice a day is every 12 hours, 2 tablets a day."
Patient "NO ONE DAY IS 12 HOURS. SO EVERY 6 HOURS."
Me "Sir, one day is 24 hours."
Patient "SAYS WHO?"
Me "... the rest of the world? And also because 24 hours is how long it takes the earth to make a full rotation on its axis. Please just follow the directions on bottle. We cannot release this medication until this date."
Patient "WHATEVER!"
Then my pharmacist looked over at me and said "What?? Did you really just have to tell someone repeatedly that one day is 24 hours?"
Patient "I need to know if I can get this refilled now."
I get the info, turns out to be a narcotic, filled for a month supply less than 2 weeks ago.
Me "Sorry sir, this can't be filled until this date because you just got it filled less than 2 weeks ago."
Patient "No! You only gave me 60 tablets and it says here to take it twice a day so that's FOUR TABLETS A DAY. EVERY SIX HOURS." (he left out that the part where it's only as needed"
Me "Sir, twice a day is every 12 hours, 2 tablets a day."
Patient "NO ONE DAY IS 12 HOURS. SO EVERY 6 HOURS."
Me "Sir, one day is 24 hours."
Patient "SAYS WHO?"
Me "... the rest of the world? And also because 24 hours is how long it takes the earth to make a full rotation on its axis. Please just follow the directions on bottle. We cannot release this medication until this date."
Patient "WHATEVER!"
Then my pharmacist looked over at me and said "What?? Did you really just have to tell someone repeatedly that one day is 24 hours?"
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Dear You
--Don't judge me, I've gotten 3 hours of sleep the past three days, went to work, then tutored for a 2 hours. I have no idea how I am conscious, or even conscious enough to write this. But it did make me feel better about 'what was'. --
Dear You,
I spent so many years in love with you! You were my best friend. You made sure I stayed on track. You read books and watched tv while making sure I got my thesis done or studied for my exams. Just being in the same room with you made me feel better, even if we didn't say a word.
I started falling for you the day I met you. You weren't expecting someone in the dorms until the actual move in date. Apparently, they forgot to inform you that the University's marching band members move in a week before everyone else. That first week we had together was so much fun. I had no idea we would not only stay friends after that first year, but you would become my best friend.
I know we went through a lot of rough times through the years, and I'm so sorry for any hurt that I caused you. I am so thankful you were there for me when I needed you the most. I struggled so long with the feelings I had for you. I was so confused. When I realized, 'Oh my god, I'm gay.' I realized why these feelings for you would not go away. When I came out to you, I couldn't stop crying. Not because it was hard accepting who I was, it was hard telling you because you meant so much to me.
You have no idea how much it meant to me, that even after my breakdown, we went about our day and nothing between us had changed. I never told you I loved you. During my last two years at school, we were inseparable. Well, when I wasn't in my lab at least. You helped me keep my sanity and kept me from drowning under all of my work. You kept me anchored and kept me from sinking into the pile of biochemistry courses and thesis writings. You kept me sane.
Ironically, loving you drove me insane sometimes. When it came time for me to move, I felt so lost. The first month away from you was so hard. Going from never going two days without seeing each other to never seeing each other at all was so hard. I buried myself in my new job, my family, anything that distracted me from missing you. Three years later, it feels good to know that you our friendship is still strong. We may not see each other more than once every few years, but we always picked up like I had never left at all.
Sometimes I still miss you, and feel like I'm still in love with you. Maybe a small part of me will always be in love with you. All the same, I just wanted to say: I miss you, I love you, you are one amazing best friend. I couldn't have asked for more.
Love,
Me
Dear You,
I spent so many years in love with you! You were my best friend. You made sure I stayed on track. You read books and watched tv while making sure I got my thesis done or studied for my exams. Just being in the same room with you made me feel better, even if we didn't say a word.
I started falling for you the day I met you. You weren't expecting someone in the dorms until the actual move in date. Apparently, they forgot to inform you that the University's marching band members move in a week before everyone else. That first week we had together was so much fun. I had no idea we would not only stay friends after that first year, but you would become my best friend.
I know we went through a lot of rough times through the years, and I'm so sorry for any hurt that I caused you. I am so thankful you were there for me when I needed you the most. I struggled so long with the feelings I had for you. I was so confused. When I realized, 'Oh my god, I'm gay.' I realized why these feelings for you would not go away. When I came out to you, I couldn't stop crying. Not because it was hard accepting who I was, it was hard telling you because you meant so much to me.
You have no idea how much it meant to me, that even after my breakdown, we went about our day and nothing between us had changed. I never told you I loved you. During my last two years at school, we were inseparable. Well, when I wasn't in my lab at least. You helped me keep my sanity and kept me from drowning under all of my work. You kept me anchored and kept me from sinking into the pile of biochemistry courses and thesis writings. You kept me sane.
Ironically, loving you drove me insane sometimes. When it came time for me to move, I felt so lost. The first month away from you was so hard. Going from never going two days without seeing each other to never seeing each other at all was so hard. I buried myself in my new job, my family, anything that distracted me from missing you. Three years later, it feels good to know that you our friendship is still strong. We may not see each other more than once every few years, but we always picked up like I had never left at all.
Sometimes I still miss you, and feel like I'm still in love with you. Maybe a small part of me will always be in love with you. All the same, I just wanted to say: I miss you, I love you, you are one amazing best friend. I couldn't have asked for more.
Love,
Me
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Roadblock.
Wednesday nights have become one of my favorite nights. It's usually the night girlfriend doesn't have to work at the hospital, I get off shift early, and it's our GLEE night. The best part is not having to work the next day. It's pretty much the only part of our schedules that don't clash.
I really love spending time with her. I haven't really felt this way about anyone in a long time. It's just the impending move to the midwest that's got me nervous. We've only been together 2 and a half months, but we've gotten pretty attached to each other. In three months I'm moving 2/3 of the way across the country. I know it's time we stop glossing over this fact, pretending it's not coming as soon a it really is. Her surgical residency is here. My school is there.
My timing really sucks. As much as trying to do a long distance thing would suck, but let us stay together, it just doesn't seem feasible. I don't plan on flying back very often because I'll be trying to find clinical internships that will most likely be out there as well, she can't visit, because she barely has enough time to sleep and see me right now as it is.
It's like we've hit this huge roadblock and neither of us is really sure what to do.
I really love spending time with her. I haven't really felt this way about anyone in a long time. It's just the impending move to the midwest that's got me nervous. We've only been together 2 and a half months, but we've gotten pretty attached to each other. In three months I'm moving 2/3 of the way across the country. I know it's time we stop glossing over this fact, pretending it's not coming as soon a it really is. Her surgical residency is here. My school is there.
My timing really sucks. As much as trying to do a long distance thing would suck, but let us stay together, it just doesn't seem feasible. I don't plan on flying back very often because I'll be trying to find clinical internships that will most likely be out there as well, she can't visit, because she barely has enough time to sleep and see me right now as it is.
It's like we've hit this huge roadblock and neither of us is really sure what to do.
Monday, April 26, 2010
BUSTED.
As much as my job can be infuriating at times, there are the fun times and the interesting times that get you through the day.
One of my favorite things to do at work? Busting drug seekers. I'm sure corporate is unhappy that this may 'hurt their bottom line', but I don't care. Many people in my profession can spot these people from miles away. It's always irritating when you know it's not legit and the MD is on their payroll, but one you can bust 'em, it's just awesome.
Take this one guy for example. Every time he comes in, it's for the same narcs, pays cash in 20 dollar bills for narcotics that cost about a total of $1000 every month, cash that is kept in a bank purse that has way more money in that every single time he comes in. Another thing is I hate taking that much cash. 1) I have to check all bills 20 and larger 2) having that in my drawer makes me uneasy, 3) why the fuck are you carrying around about 5 grand in cash with you at all times?! I have 5 grand too buddy, but I store it at this place calle THE BANK. Or at least in a safe at the house. Fuck carrying that around.
He also does the one thing that irritates he shit out of me while I work. He hovers around the pharmacy, peeking in, giving that you should hurry that shit up vibe. Fuck you, man. Funny thing is, this usually makes me work slower. I've been wanting to bust him for months, but my hands were tied. MD said the RXs were legit, etc blah blah blah. As we're doing the second data review on the script a red flag pops up that he's filled norco somewhere recently.
Oh AAA, you were always a pain sometimes, but I <3 them for not only jumping my car when I need it, but busting his ass. Tracking AAA discount (p.s. some pharmacies offer AAA discounts on your rx's if it's not covered or you don't have insurance) was pain in the ass, but through a few phone calls I tracked down the second pharmacy they were using and found out he goes to them about a week after us for the same narcs. BUSTED.
I don't know why, but it's so much fun to bust them. Almost as much fun as talking to the kids that come in, or the regulars that give you a laugh.
One of my favorite things to do at work? Busting drug seekers. I'm sure corporate is unhappy that this may 'hurt their bottom line', but I don't care. Many people in my profession can spot these people from miles away. It's always irritating when you know it's not legit and the MD is on their payroll, but one you can bust 'em, it's just awesome.
Take this one guy for example. Every time he comes in, it's for the same narcs, pays cash in 20 dollar bills for narcotics that cost about a total of $1000 every month, cash that is kept in a bank purse that has way more money in that every single time he comes in. Another thing is I hate taking that much cash. 1) I have to check all bills 20 and larger 2) having that in my drawer makes me uneasy, 3) why the fuck are you carrying around about 5 grand in cash with you at all times?! I have 5 grand too buddy, but I store it at this place calle THE BANK. Or at least in a safe at the house. Fuck carrying that around.
He also does the one thing that irritates he shit out of me while I work. He hovers around the pharmacy, peeking in, giving that you should hurry that shit up vibe. Fuck you, man. Funny thing is, this usually makes me work slower. I've been wanting to bust him for months, but my hands were tied. MD said the RXs were legit, etc blah blah blah. As we're doing the second data review on the script a red flag pops up that he's filled norco somewhere recently.
Oh AAA, you were always a pain sometimes, but I <3 them for not only jumping my car when I need it, but busting his ass. Tracking AAA discount (p.s. some pharmacies offer AAA discounts on your rx's if it's not covered or you don't have insurance) was pain in the ass, but through a few phone calls I tracked down the second pharmacy they were using and found out he goes to them about a week after us for the same narcs. BUSTED.
I don't know why, but it's so much fun to bust them. Almost as much fun as talking to the kids that come in, or the regulars that give you a laugh.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Work apathy
I've just seriously been so apathetic lately at work. I think it's a combination of burn out and wanting to be with my girlfriend. I know it's not just me that goes through all the BS in the pharmacy. We all get yelled at over ridiculous crap that's out of control, but I just don't even care anymore. Most of the time I just raise an eyebrow, turn and walk away. This may seem rude to them, but if I don't walk away there is a huge chance I would say many many not so nice things.
I'm sorry you 'lost' your vicodin down the toilet for the 3rd time in two weeks. We cannot give it an early fill without doctor approval. I'm sorry your copay sucks, yell at the insurance company. No I do not magically know your insurance ID number. No I cannot magically guess what it is especially if you don't even know the name of your insurance carrier.
It also sucks that girlfriend's hospital schedule and my pharmacy schedule are complete opposites. Serves me right I suppose. I finally date someone I do want to see often, and work prevents it. If she's got the late shift, I have an early morning shift.
Not to mention we're conveniently ignoring the fact that I'm moving in 4 months. It's weird. I guess as soon as I decided on where I was going, it made it real that I was leaving. It also made it real that we would most likely not be together at the end of these four months.
I adore her. I've never really been with someone I wanted to spend all my free time with. I've always been the one that needed her own time and space. It's just different with her. I just don't think I could handle long distance. Not with stress from school, and the stress she's under. It just sounds like an explosion of fights waitingto happen. Ugh, need to stop thinking about that and enjoy the moments we have now.
I'm sorry you 'lost' your vicodin down the toilet for the 3rd time in two weeks. We cannot give it an early fill without doctor approval. I'm sorry your copay sucks, yell at the insurance company. No I do not magically know your insurance ID number. No I cannot magically guess what it is especially if you don't even know the name of your insurance carrier.
It also sucks that girlfriend's hospital schedule and my pharmacy schedule are complete opposites. Serves me right I suppose. I finally date someone I do want to see often, and work prevents it. If she's got the late shift, I have an early morning shift.
Not to mention we're conveniently ignoring the fact that I'm moving in 4 months. It's weird. I guess as soon as I decided on where I was going, it made it real that I was leaving. It also made it real that we would most likely not be together at the end of these four months.
I adore her. I've never really been with someone I wanted to spend all my free time with. I've always been the one that needed her own time and space. It's just different with her. I just don't think I could handle long distance. Not with stress from school, and the stress she's under. It just sounds like an explosion of fights waitingto happen. Ugh, need to stop thinking about that and enjoy the moments we have now.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
MUD RUN!!!
I'm pumped right now and so excited for the summer. Starting this week I will begin training for a 5K mud run. WEEEEE. I am worried too because I have became a fatty sloth and haven't done my 4 mile tri-weekly run in almost 3 years. I'm so out of shape now it's embarrassing. I gained 15 lbs since I left college, lost 5 of it, but I was still not exactly in shape when I left college.
My fat timeline would be high school really fat --> college I actually lost a lot of weight and ran 4 miles every other day by my senior year so I was in shape, and pudgy --> work rut that included weight gain, crap food eating at lunch with coworkers and not working because work is draining (excuses, excuses)
So my goal is to get back to working out 4 times a week and work my way back up to 4 miles in 32 minutes, and get to a good healthy routine. I have two other coworkers and possibly a third to complete our 4 person team for the mud run. I am so excited about this!!
I think I will start to use this blog to monitor my working out progress and training routines as well. Or a second one, haven't quite decided yet.
My fat timeline would be high school really fat --> college I actually lost a lot of weight and ran 4 miles every other day by my senior year so I was in shape, and pudgy --> work rut that included weight gain, crap food eating at lunch with coworkers and not working because work is draining (excuses, excuses)
So my goal is to get back to working out 4 times a week and work my way back up to 4 miles in 32 minutes, and get to a good healthy routine. I have two other coworkers and possibly a third to complete our 4 person team for the mud run. I am so excited about this!!
I think I will start to use this blog to monitor my working out progress and training routines as well. Or a second one, haven't quite decided yet.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Introducing... the girl.
I forgot to add something in my last post. I met someone, someone I now call my girlfriend. I had no idea during that post that it would turn out to be much. I'm moving across the country in 4 months, and I was not keen on starting a relationship. I am not good with relationships. My friends and coworkers make fun of me for having 'commitment issues', when in reality, if I don't feel it, then I don't pursue it. I don't understand why that's so hard for them to grasp haha.
But... She makes me happy. I actually feel kind of silly writing that, but she makes me smile stupidly, say silly things, and I just feel... happy. Not that I wasn't happy before, but now I'm in that weird happy-relationship kinda thing. Weird.
My friends think it's a match made in medical heaven. I think they're all insane, but her shifts at the hospital and my random pharmacy schedule does make things a bit difficult.
I'm crazy about her. There. I said it. I like her, a lot. And that scares the crap out of me. She knows in four months I'll be living in another state far far away, but we never really breached the subject further than just acknowledging it. Honestly, I just figured we'd have fun and 'whatever happens, happens', but I adore her.
It also doesn't help that the one day off we had together I got an emergency call to work. In my sleepy stupor I agreed to work and asked my coworker to stop sounding so damn peppy when gf asked "Babe... are you talking to your puppy on the phone?" (My coworker has the same name as the pup lol.) I explained that I had to work today and that was recieved with swift kick to my shins and reminding me what today was.
I felt like the world's biggest ass. I don't make good decisions straight from waking up, ever. This is why work attacks me in the morning, they know I'm not coherent. So I was stuck, be an asshole and say that I can't work, or be an asshole and ditch my gf on our break day. After a lot of furious texting and talking with the gf, she relunctantly agreed that I should bail them out. I felt so bad, I was a grumpy butt at work for the first few hours. I felt bad about that too. Today was not the happy day off I was expecting! haha.
She forgave me by the time my lunch break rolled around, and I went skipping back to work the happiest person. My coworkers were baffled. I couldn't explain it. Just knowing she was ok, we were ok, just made my mood so much better. (I texted my coworker that missed his shift saying that if she breaks up with me over this I am holding him soley responsible. haha.)
=)
But... She makes me happy. I actually feel kind of silly writing that, but she makes me smile stupidly, say silly things, and I just feel... happy. Not that I wasn't happy before, but now I'm in that weird happy-relationship kinda thing. Weird.
My friends think it's a match made in medical heaven. I think they're all insane, but her shifts at the hospital and my random pharmacy schedule does make things a bit difficult.
I'm crazy about her. There. I said it. I like her, a lot. And that scares the crap out of me. She knows in four months I'll be living in another state far far away, but we never really breached the subject further than just acknowledging it. Honestly, I just figured we'd have fun and 'whatever happens, happens', but I adore her.
It also doesn't help that the one day off we had together I got an emergency call to work. In my sleepy stupor I agreed to work and asked my coworker to stop sounding so damn peppy when gf asked "Babe... are you talking to your puppy on the phone?" (My coworker has the same name as the pup lol.) I explained that I had to work today and that was recieved with swift kick to my shins and reminding me what today was.
I felt like the world's biggest ass. I don't make good decisions straight from waking up, ever. This is why work attacks me in the morning, they know I'm not coherent. So I was stuck, be an asshole and say that I can't work, or be an asshole and ditch my gf on our break day. After a lot of furious texting and talking with the gf, she relunctantly agreed that I should bail them out. I felt so bad, I was a grumpy butt at work for the first few hours. I felt bad about that too. Today was not the happy day off I was expecting! haha.
She forgave me by the time my lunch break rolled around, and I went skipping back to work the happiest person. My coworkers were baffled. I couldn't explain it. Just knowing she was ok, we were ok, just made my mood so much better. (I texted my coworker that missed his shift saying that if she breaks up with me over this I am holding him soley responsible. haha.)
=)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
My body and liver hates me
Oi. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. Besides checking my email from my phone the past few weeks and watching Lost on Netflix streaming at night to go to sleep I haven't touched my laptop. To be honest, most nights I am pretty sure turning the laptop on was a huge feat in itself.
Last weekend I went out to a gay club on ladies night with my newly found gay cousin and her gf. It was awesome! Mostly because I am spending more time with my cousin since we had grown apart, but it seems our 'gayness' is bringing us back together. HAHA. I inform them tha in order to get me + dancing, you need to also factor in alcohol. Somewhere in between several vodka tonics and beer or two, I was dancing around like a fool. Too bad I got home around 330am and worked at 10am.
Quote of the night, in response to my lightweight in the drinking area: "Girl, I may not be a 90 lb girl, but I sure as hell do drink like one!"
I stumbled out of bed sometime around 9am to shower and go to work. I found some Vietnamese coffee in my fridge and nearly cried from happiness. Halfway through the bottle at work I finally read the label that said "Concetrated" on it, then realized I was supposed to mix it with ice. Turns out I had about 4 cups of it which equals about 12 expresso shots. Oh shit.
A few hours later I was running around the pharmacy like a crackhead. Zipping around like a freaking hummingbird. My equally hungover, but coffeeless coworker stared at me and said "Oh god, please stop running around, you're making me dizzy!!!"
Still wired from the coffee after work I went over to my friend's house to get 're-schooled' in beer pong. I haven't played that crap since college. Around 2 am I realized, shit, work at 8am. A friend drops me off, and the day goes on. This time I had the appropriate diluted amount of coffee and was still going strong for my coworker's house party.
I am pretty sure my liver is cursing me, and my nervous system wants to kill me with the overload of caffeine and alcohol, but it was good fun!
Somewhere in between all that in the week we also made two trips to disneyland and played house for my sister.
I am waiting for everything to hit me all at one and go into some insane sleep coma. Too old for this shit!
Last weekend I went out to a gay club on ladies night with my newly found gay cousin and her gf. It was awesome! Mostly because I am spending more time with my cousin since we had grown apart, but it seems our 'gayness' is bringing us back together. HAHA. I inform them tha in order to get me + dancing, you need to also factor in alcohol. Somewhere in between several vodka tonics and beer or two, I was dancing around like a fool. Too bad I got home around 330am and worked at 10am.
Quote of the night, in response to my lightweight in the drinking area: "Girl, I may not be a 90 lb girl, but I sure as hell do drink like one!"
I stumbled out of bed sometime around 9am to shower and go to work. I found some Vietnamese coffee in my fridge and nearly cried from happiness. Halfway through the bottle at work I finally read the label that said "Concetrated" on it, then realized I was supposed to mix it with ice. Turns out I had about 4 cups of it which equals about 12 expresso shots. Oh shit.
A few hours later I was running around the pharmacy like a crackhead. Zipping around like a freaking hummingbird. My equally hungover, but coffeeless coworker stared at me and said "Oh god, please stop running around, you're making me dizzy!!!"
Still wired from the coffee after work I went over to my friend's house to get 're-schooled' in beer pong. I haven't played that crap since college. Around 2 am I realized, shit, work at 8am. A friend drops me off, and the day goes on. This time I had the appropriate diluted amount of coffee and was still going strong for my coworker's house party.
I am pretty sure my liver is cursing me, and my nervous system wants to kill me with the overload of caffeine and alcohol, but it was good fun!
Somewhere in between all that in the week we also made two trips to disneyland and played house for my sister.
I am waiting for everything to hit me all at one and go into some insane sleep coma. Too old for this shit!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Vacations are amazing.
I just got back from vacation to visit some of my old college friends. It was much too short and I really wish I was still there. My best friend picked me up, we grabbed dinner, and then went back to her place to watch a movie and sleep.
Ah, some things never changed. I missed her, but I didn't realize how much. Sometimes the little things we used to do together is more fun than figuring out activities to do. We were so comfortable with each other that I could study in one corner and she could watch tv and/or read in the same room and just enjoyed each other's company. Even though it was kinda like ignoring each other, haha. I miss those days, but I do not miss my insane exam schedule/thesis writing.
Throughout the week we did a lot of things, and we even fit in a snowboarding trip. I laughed so much and had so much fun with my friends. It had been almost 2 years since I had seen them, but we just picked up where we left off. Making fun of each other, laughing til we cried, making random jokes, and just having fun no matter what we were doing!
When my best friend dropped me off at the airport and hugged me goodbye, I just wanted to hop back in the car and not go home. I missed my family and my puppy dog, but I just missed being there. The place I called my home for four years. I'm not gonna lie, I wanted to cry while I sat at the airport waiting for my flight.
I am still smiling just thinking about all the fun I had. I even got to meet some neices and nephews for the first time (the oldest is 10!) and bonded with them. I wish I could have spent more time with them. It made me sad when one asked 'Auntie can't you please just stay with us??' after only knowing me for 3 hours.
Vacation simply just does not last long enough!!
Ah, some things never changed. I missed her, but I didn't realize how much. Sometimes the little things we used to do together is more fun than figuring out activities to do. We were so comfortable with each other that I could study in one corner and she could watch tv and/or read in the same room and just enjoyed each other's company. Even though it was kinda like ignoring each other, haha. I miss those days, but I do not miss my insane exam schedule/thesis writing.
Throughout the week we did a lot of things, and we even fit in a snowboarding trip. I laughed so much and had so much fun with my friends. It had been almost 2 years since I had seen them, but we just picked up where we left off. Making fun of each other, laughing til we cried, making random jokes, and just having fun no matter what we were doing!
When my best friend dropped me off at the airport and hugged me goodbye, I just wanted to hop back in the car and not go home. I missed my family and my puppy dog, but I just missed being there. The place I called my home for four years. I'm not gonna lie, I wanted to cry while I sat at the airport waiting for my flight.
I am still smiling just thinking about all the fun I had. I even got to meet some neices and nephews for the first time (the oldest is 10!) and bonded with them. I wish I could have spent more time with them. It made me sad when one asked 'Auntie can't you please just stay with us??' after only knowing me for 3 hours.
Vacation simply just does not last long enough!!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Pregnancy?!
Me: ... Wow... apparently 'tis the season to be pregnant.
Pregnant Coworker: "SHUT UP...."
Me: Sorry! Just messin' with ya.
PC: It's ok... everyone had a pregnancy scare that week.
Me: ... except me. And the one person that wants to be pregnant!
PC: true... did you know RxM is preggers too? The same time as me!
Me: Holy crap!
PC: See! You should get pregnant and have a baby with me!
Me: ... And through what miracle would be achieving this feat?
PC: *snickers* Well... it COULD happen.
Me: No honey, it can't.
PC: What! You could be carrying baby jesus.... or the anti-christ.
Me: ha. ha. ha.
The very next day....
Pharmacist: Oh! So G wasn't feeling so good yesterday. I guess she was feeling really dizzy. I think she may be pregnant again.
Me: Wow. Is that good or bad?
Pharmacist: ... I don't know.
Five minutes laer G calls to let the pharmacist know she was ok. And not pregnant.
Pharmacist: OH! Good you took a test? Oh! Erin! She took it twice! Not pregnant!
Me: Congratulations? Hi G!
G: Who was that?
Pharmacist: Erin! She says hi!
G: OH! Tell her I say Hi, I'm NOT PREGNANT!
Pharmacist: She says hi and that she's not pregnant!!
Me: .... congratulations?
I am just amused at the relief. And the fact that even though it has been said over and over... she kept reiterating that she wasn't pregnant. Then again G just had a baby in August... so I'm guessing one child depriving her of sleep is more than enough for her and her hubby.
Pregnant Coworker: "SHUT UP...."
Me: Sorry! Just messin' with ya.
PC: It's ok... everyone had a pregnancy scare that week.
Me: ... except me. And the one person that wants to be pregnant!
PC: true... did you know RxM is preggers too? The same time as me!
Me: Holy crap!
PC: See! You should get pregnant and have a baby with me!
Me: ... And through what miracle would be achieving this feat?
PC: *snickers* Well... it COULD happen.
Me: No honey, it can't.
PC: What! You could be carrying baby jesus.... or the anti-christ.
Me: ha. ha. ha.
The very next day....
Pharmacist: Oh! So G wasn't feeling so good yesterday. I guess she was feeling really dizzy. I think she may be pregnant again.
Me: Wow. Is that good or bad?
Pharmacist: ... I don't know.
Five minutes laer G calls to let the pharmacist know she was ok. And not pregnant.
Pharmacist: OH! Good you took a test? Oh! Erin! She took it twice! Not pregnant!
Me: Congratulations? Hi G!
G: Who was that?
Pharmacist: Erin! She says hi!
G: OH! Tell her I say Hi, I'm NOT PREGNANT!
Pharmacist: She says hi and that she's not pregnant!!
Me: .... congratulations?
I am just amused at the relief. And the fact that even though it has been said over and over... she kept reiterating that she wasn't pregnant. Then again G just had a baby in August... so I'm guessing one child depriving her of sleep is more than enough for her and her hubby.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
blargh?!
Blarrrghhh.
That's pretty much how I've felt all week. I am on 11 days of work straight this week and it has not been an easy 6 days. Between rushing between my PT (yes... still in PT from that damn acccident), my MD appointments (I've been in there so much it's ridiculous) for shots and TB tests and the like, while tutoring a very stubborn 13 year old in science and algebra and mediating between him and his dad, then being yelled at my parentals for working too much, not having enough time to tutor, and working too late all the time (blah blah, one day I should just say psh Ashley (www.writingtoreachyou.com) has an even crazier work load, but they'd just stare at me strangely.
Blah and filling out financial aid?! That means I need to file my taxes hahaha.
Oh man. I feel like I'm being pulled in so many different directions and the ONLY thing I have to look forward to is ONE day off this Thursday and then back to work I go.
Shoot. There are techs that are desperate for hours and they find the one person that would be over time?! I mean it's flattering because it means I have a good reputation as a competent tech with so many people/pharmacies(you'd be surprised how hard it is to find a competent tech) that my name usually comes up when people need coverage and that they are willing to pay me time and a half to do it. It's just blargh because I have a problem with saying 'no'. Which means things like Thursday happened when I was working and missed my PT because they simply could not lose me for 90 minutes. I need a clone so I can be in more than one place at a time.
Sorry... enough complaining. I just got off from work after being yelled at by many many people because of things beyond my control.
That's pretty much how I've felt all week. I am on 11 days of work straight this week and it has not been an easy 6 days. Between rushing between my PT (yes... still in PT from that damn acccident), my MD appointments (I've been in there so much it's ridiculous) for shots and TB tests and the like, while tutoring a very stubborn 13 year old in science and algebra and mediating between him and his dad, then being yelled at my parentals for working too much, not having enough time to tutor, and working too late all the time (blah blah, one day I should just say psh Ashley (www.writingtoreachyou.com) has an even crazier work load, but they'd just stare at me strangely.
Blah and filling out financial aid?! That means I need to file my taxes hahaha.
Oh man. I feel like I'm being pulled in so many different directions and the ONLY thing I have to look forward to is ONE day off this Thursday and then back to work I go.
Shoot. There are techs that are desperate for hours and they find the one person that would be over time?! I mean it's flattering because it means I have a good reputation as a competent tech with so many people/pharmacies(you'd be surprised how hard it is to find a competent tech) that my name usually comes up when people need coverage and that they are willing to pay me time and a half to do it. It's just blargh because I have a problem with saying 'no'. Which means things like Thursday happened when I was working and missed my PT because they simply could not lose me for 90 minutes. I need a clone so I can be in more than one place at a time.
Sorry... enough complaining. I just got off from work after being yelled at by many many people because of things beyond my control.
Monday, February 15, 2010
To come out or not to come out
So much to do... and so much to think about before I move. I am going to miss my puppy so much! But it wouldn't be fair to coup him up in a tiny apartmet when he has so much space here!
I've also been talking to my future classmates and the same question keeps lingerig in my head. Should I come out to them? We're all in professional school, but at the same time if one reacts badly I am stuck with them for four years! Well 3 since 4th year is mostly clinical rotations. I was barely out in college. Blah. I have no problems being open at work, but my thoughts always come back to that story where a guy was kicked out of pharmacy school for being gay. My school is a private school too, but they are progressive... you just never know. Blah.
Here'sa fun conversation to lighten those thoughts:
Daniel
that game is the best
that is my valentine lol
9:10pmCarolyn
hahhaha well at least it will never leave you
9:11pmDaniel
if it breaks then my life is over
9:11pmCarolyn
or you could go buy yourself a new one
or steal one like you did in your hoodlum days
9:12pmDaniel
lol it was one lollipop
9:12pmCarolyn
whateverrr gateway theft
first it's a lollipop
then it's a candy bar
before you know it you're on the 10 o'clock news on a high speed pursuit down the 405 with cops chasing you.
I've also been talking to my future classmates and the same question keeps lingerig in my head. Should I come out to them? We're all in professional school, but at the same time if one reacts badly I am stuck with them for four years! Well 3 since 4th year is mostly clinical rotations. I was barely out in college. Blah. I have no problems being open at work, but my thoughts always come back to that story where a guy was kicked out of pharmacy school for being gay. My school is a private school too, but they are progressive... you just never know. Blah.
Here'sa fun conversation to lighten those thoughts:
Daniel
that game is the best
that is my valentine lol
9:10pmCarolyn
hahhaha well at least it will never leave you
9:11pmDaniel
if it breaks then my life is over
9:11pmCarolyn
or you could go buy yourself a new one
or steal one like you did in your hoodlum days
9:12pmDaniel
lol it was one lollipop
9:12pmCarolyn
whateverrr gateway theft
first it's a lollipop
then it's a candy bar
before you know it you're on the 10 o'clock news on a high speed pursuit down the 405 with cops chasing you.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
domain name change
Hey everyone,
So with a new life about to start ahead of me, I changed my url. I did this for a number of reasons, and I know that links will be broken etc. Sorry! I should have thought about my url more carefully than when I had started this blog last year, but I didn't. My apologies!
T-Minus 6 months til I pack up and move for pharmacy school!
So with a new life about to start ahead of me, I changed my url. I did this for a number of reasons, and I know that links will be broken etc. Sorry! I should have thought about my url more carefully than when I had started this blog last year, but I didn't. My apologies!
T-Minus 6 months til I pack up and move for pharmacy school!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
My arm hurts.
I am still ecstatic about my acceptance. I love love love the school, the weather there, the city, I am so excited! I've pretty much been bouncing off the walls the last few days, and I'm sure some are getting annoyed by it haha. Teehee I am going to be a doctor of pharmacy!
Well, of course after acceptance I get to start the 'what you need to do' before you can successfully matriculate. I pretty much woke up the next day and started making appointments for the following day for my physical/immunizations.
I hate shots! =( They gave me three injections and I have to go back Monday to get my TB test done and start my round of Hep B immunizations. My arms were pretty sore today and people at work kept accidentally bumping into it/poking me in the arm. Also, I think something was off because I was super clumsy today. Read: Dropped and broke a glass bottle of cough syrup, and knocked a coffee out of my friend's hand (separate occasions). I felt so bad, coffee is important. So with sore ams I sucked it up and mopped up my mess because I made them.
Had a good night tonight, dinner with the fam, had drinks with my coworkers to celebrate. Life is good.
Memorable quotes:
Coworker: "HERE'S TO GETTING RID OF CAROLYN!!!"
everyone (including me): "CHEERS TO THAT!!!"
Coworker: "Here's to Carolyn finally getting the F- out of CA!" <3333
Coworker: "HERE'S TO NOT BEING AT WOOOOORK!! DRINK!"
Coworker:"so... can I have your hours when you leave? You know... the nice ones."
Well, of course after acceptance I get to start the 'what you need to do' before you can successfully matriculate. I pretty much woke up the next day and started making appointments for the following day for my physical/immunizations.
I hate shots! =( They gave me three injections and I have to go back Monday to get my TB test done and start my round of Hep B immunizations. My arms were pretty sore today and people at work kept accidentally bumping into it/poking me in the arm. Also, I think something was off because I was super clumsy today. Read: Dropped and broke a glass bottle of cough syrup, and knocked a coffee out of my friend's hand (separate occasions). I felt so bad, coffee is important. So with sore ams I sucked it up and mopped up my mess because I made them.
Had a good night tonight, dinner with the fam, had drinks with my coworkers to celebrate. Life is good.
Memorable quotes:
Coworker: "HERE'S TO GETTING RID OF CAROLYN!!!"
everyone (including me): "CHEERS TO THAT!!!"
Coworker: "Here's to Carolyn finally getting the F- out of CA!" <3333
Coworker: "HERE'S TO NOT BEING AT WOOOOORK!! DRINK!"
Coworker:"so... can I have your hours when you leave? You know... the nice ones."
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
=) =) =)
I am so very very happy right now! I JUST FOUND OUT I WAS ACCEPTED TO PHARMACY SCHOOL!!!! Not only that, it was my top choice!!!!
I thought I bombed that interview because I had a horrible sinus infection and was pretty out of it, but I got in!!! I am so happy right now!
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My phone literally exploded that night. Phone calls and texts from friends and family kept coming for hours! My parents get the word out fast. I had no idea there were two different call waiting tones if you're on the phone while two other people are trying to call you at the same time. LOL I thought my phone was having a nervous breakdown.
P.S. Turns out my second store knows I'm gay. LOL. Amazing gaydar? Or just super observant?
I thought I bombed that interview because I had a horrible sinus infection and was pretty out of it, but I got in!!! I am so happy right now!
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My phone literally exploded that night. Phone calls and texts from friends and family kept coming for hours! My parents get the word out fast. I had no idea there were two different call waiting tones if you're on the phone while two other people are trying to call you at the same time. LOL I thought my phone was having a nervous breakdown.
P.S. Turns out my second store knows I'm gay. LOL. Amazing gaydar? Or just super observant?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
My company + Pride??
Ok, well I am one of the lucky folks that work for a company that does include sexual orientation as a protected class along with sex, class, race, etc. I have always been thankful for that, especially since my coworkers have some crazy gaydar. Or at least when it comes to me. I have long hair and dress pretty much like every one else at work, so I don't know how they figure it out, but they did.
So my boss was reading our corporate emails while I was trying to figure out a strange prescription when I hear my boss excitedly calling me to read whatever she was reading. The only thing in the subject was [Company Name] Pride. I scoffed and began reading.
Well I'll be damned. They are going to sponser some of LB pride, have booths, and possibly get in on the parade float thing. Yeah, that's pretty cool! Funny since I have still failed to go to Pride, mostly because I'm always working haha. My boss was super excited though and wanted to volunteer me for the float.
Oh please, no. I don't know if I could handle that haha. Last thing I need is the parentals watching faux news and see me in the parade. haha. It would be pretty awesome though...
Pride isn't until June though I think, so pretty far ways away... and it would be pretty freaking sweet.
So my boss was reading our corporate emails while I was trying to figure out a strange prescription when I hear my boss excitedly calling me to read whatever she was reading. The only thing in the subject was [Company Name] Pride. I scoffed and began reading.
Well I'll be damned. They are going to sponser some of LB pride, have booths, and possibly get in on the parade float thing. Yeah, that's pretty cool! Funny since I have still failed to go to Pride, mostly because I'm always working haha. My boss was super excited though and wanted to volunteer me for the float.
Oh please, no. I don't know if I could handle that haha. Last thing I need is the parentals watching faux news and see me in the parade. haha. It would be pretty awesome though...
Pride isn't until June though I think, so pretty far ways away... and it would be pretty freaking sweet.
drunk bush running.
Now, if you are thinking something dirty, please remove your mind from the gutter. ;) I actually did drunkenly run through foliage.
After an exhausting and boring day at work, I went home to get things done. This turned into going home and passing out on the couch for an hour. I wake up to a text that read:
'Grab drinks before movie?' YESSS! Of course!
So I met up with my friend at a bar about half a mile from the movie theatre. I was planning on my usual one beer. That turned into a beer and a shot of petrone when he offered to buy me one. That snowballed into a beer, a shot of petrone, and an Irish Car Bomb. In less that 45 minutes. Woo. Remind me never to do that again. I am too old to be drinking that much that quickly.
We realize at this time that we are going to be late to the movie. Too drunk to even consider driving, we decided to walk since our other friends wouldn't pick us up. For some reason as soon as we got outside my drunkeness caught up with me. We also didn't realize the amount of foliage walls we would encounter. At the first one we came up to, my friend looks at me and goes "should we?" and we did. The bastard jumped in and pretty much tumbled into the bushes. My drunken ass decides to try and wade through it and got caught on some branches and I got some nice cuts from them haha.
At one point our friends call him to see why it was taking us so long to get there and this distracts his 'bush wading skills' and he pretty much slips and falls over into the bush. I am laughing my ass off at him and then he gets up and takes off running.
I was not sober enough to run that fast. So I stumble after him and watch him disappear when our friend calls me. Of course I am wading through new bushes this time and as karma would have it I slipped and pretty much rolled through. I am surprised I didn't lose anything haha. Then I started to 'run' towards the movie theatre. Wow. What a sight. We couldn't stop laughing. We both had some mud on us, and the cuts were hilarious. The movie was eh, but was a lot better drunk haha.
After an exhausting and boring day at work, I went home to get things done. This turned into going home and passing out on the couch for an hour. I wake up to a text that read:
'Grab drinks before movie?' YESSS! Of course!
So I met up with my friend at a bar about half a mile from the movie theatre. I was planning on my usual one beer. That turned into a beer and a shot of petrone when he offered to buy me one. That snowballed into a beer, a shot of petrone, and an Irish Car Bomb. In less that 45 minutes. Woo. Remind me never to do that again. I am too old to be drinking that much that quickly.
We realize at this time that we are going to be late to the movie. Too drunk to even consider driving, we decided to walk since our other friends wouldn't pick us up. For some reason as soon as we got outside my drunkeness caught up with me. We also didn't realize the amount of foliage walls we would encounter. At the first one we came up to, my friend looks at me and goes "should we?" and we did. The bastard jumped in and pretty much tumbled into the bushes. My drunken ass decides to try and wade through it and got caught on some branches and I got some nice cuts from them haha.
At one point our friends call him to see why it was taking us so long to get there and this distracts his 'bush wading skills' and he pretty much slips and falls over into the bush. I am laughing my ass off at him and then he gets up and takes off running.
I was not sober enough to run that fast. So I stumble after him and watch him disappear when our friend calls me. Of course I am wading through new bushes this time and as karma would have it I slipped and pretty much rolled through. I am surprised I didn't lose anything haha. Then I started to 'run' towards the movie theatre. Wow. What a sight. We couldn't stop laughing. We both had some mud on us, and the cuts were hilarious. The movie was eh, but was a lot better drunk haha.
Friday, January 22, 2010
And we're back!
I'm back! My brain is running at 90% right now, which is far far better than the haze I was living through this past week. I no longer feel nauseous, the world no longer tilts at random moments, and my head no longer pounds. Huh, I just realized having a concussion is similar to being very very drunk, only less fun.
So I don't exactly remember what went wrong in the moments leading up to my concussion. I remember flying into the air, but then my mind goes blank and I feel my head hit the ground much harder than it ever has. The pain was intense, I couldn't even open my eyes. I remember trying with all my might to push open my eyes, but some other force was keeping them shut.
Now, for some reason, not being able to open my eyes made me try to roll over to get up. You'd think not being able to see, your last thought would be to get up right? Well I'm a dumbass. Good thing I was too hurt to move. I felt my limbs shake at my feeble attempt to roll my body over, so I just laid there for a bit. After a few minutes I was able to open my eyes and roll myself over and get myself off that mountain. Whew. I probably should not have kept riding, but I did. After about two though I called it quits and laid in the car while the rest of my group enjoyed the day.
I was slightly terrified to sleep that night, but I woke up the next morning going YES! I WOKE UP! My next thought was, Dammit. I have to go to work. It was hard because I was feeling really nauseous, and my head still pounded pretty fiercely.
It took most of this week for the pounding to subside and the haze to lift, but I'm ready to take on the fresh powder!
So I don't exactly remember what went wrong in the moments leading up to my concussion. I remember flying into the air, but then my mind goes blank and I feel my head hit the ground much harder than it ever has. The pain was intense, I couldn't even open my eyes. I remember trying with all my might to push open my eyes, but some other force was keeping them shut.
Now, for some reason, not being able to open my eyes made me try to roll over to get up. You'd think not being able to see, your last thought would be to get up right? Well I'm a dumbass. Good thing I was too hurt to move. I felt my limbs shake at my feeble attempt to roll my body over, so I just laid there for a bit. After a few minutes I was able to open my eyes and roll myself over and get myself off that mountain. Whew. I probably should not have kept riding, but I did. After about two though I called it quits and laid in the car while the rest of my group enjoyed the day.
I was slightly terrified to sleep that night, but I woke up the next morning going YES! I WOKE UP! My next thought was, Dammit. I have to go to work. It was hard because I was feeling really nauseous, and my head still pounded pretty fiercely.
It took most of this week for the pounding to subside and the haze to lift, but I'm ready to take on the fresh powder!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Regular programming will return shortly.
Please forgive my lack of comments. I am trying to keep up on my blogs, but I currently have a mild concussion. So my mind is a bit hazy, and will catch up once this fog on my brain lifts. It's not that bad. I can still do complex problem solving, just issues with minor things like counting past 20 (by fives) without my brain drifting off, or other simple things. Odd, because I can do more complex math, it's just the simple things that are hard.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Lady Gaga overload
So while at work today, my coworker is calling a patient and has it on speaker and instead of the usual ringing you hear the pharmacy is suddenly blasted with Bad Romance, by Lady Gaga.
Every one is looking around trying to figure out where that music is coming from, I'm trying not to laugh and all of a sudden the girl's voicemail pops up. I think that's when we all realized it was coming from a phone. He really should have picked it up when the music started blasting, but it was pretty funny. That or he did it on purpose, because the volume was pretty damn loud.
For some reason, I thought it was a silly song, and as karma would have it, seconds later someone called me (and my dumbass forgot to put my phone on vibrate) and it too played 'bad romance'.
So that's what the kid was doing when she was playing with my phone and giggling. I never should have showed her my free ringtone app.
That song has now been stuck in my head for 12 hours.
In other non-lady gaga related news, my other coworker has recovered from her tonsilitis and is back to her usual self and making fun of me.
Me: AGHHHH I CAN'T OPEN THIS BIRTH CONTROL!!! IT'S CAROLYN PROOF!
Coworker: AHAHAHA That's because you don't need it cos you're gay!
Me: So?? BCPs have other uses!
Coworker: Yeah, yeah. Wish you didn't come out of the closet now, huh?
Me: I didn't come out of the closet, ya'll THREW me out.
Coworker: Oh yeah...
Me: I still don't know how you all figured it out.
Coworker: Trust me, it wasn't hard to tell.
Every one is looking around trying to figure out where that music is coming from, I'm trying not to laugh and all of a sudden the girl's voicemail pops up. I think that's when we all realized it was coming from a phone. He really should have picked it up when the music started blasting, but it was pretty funny. That or he did it on purpose, because the volume was pretty damn loud.
For some reason, I thought it was a silly song, and as karma would have it, seconds later someone called me (and my dumbass forgot to put my phone on vibrate) and it too played 'bad romance'.
So that's what the kid was doing when she was playing with my phone and giggling. I never should have showed her my free ringtone app.
That song has now been stuck in my head for 12 hours.
In other non-lady gaga related news, my other coworker has recovered from her tonsilitis and is back to her usual self and making fun of me.
Me: AGHHHH I CAN'T OPEN THIS BIRTH CONTROL!!! IT'S CAROLYN PROOF!
Coworker: AHAHAHA That's because you don't need it cos you're gay!
Me: So?? BCPs have other uses!
Coworker: Yeah, yeah. Wish you didn't come out of the closet now, huh?
Me: I didn't come out of the closet, ya'll THREW me out.
Coworker: Oh yeah...
Me: I still don't know how you all figured it out.
Coworker: Trust me, it wasn't hard to tell.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Literally a hot ass.
Since winter is in full swing (kind of... SoCal doesn't actually get 'winter' it just gets 'cold') so is my snowboarding/ski season. I've only boarded this winter because I want to improve more and I've only been going with people that board mostly, and I've had some pretty rough falls. Today was no exception. Luckily, I always always always wear a helmet and that definitely saved my life, or at least saved me from a concussion.
I was riding down the mountain happily, going faster with more confidence in my ability to avoid people and stop, and I've been getting better at my jumps too. I've been trying to gather courage to do a 180 turn during a jump, but I decided to be really solid in jumps first. I perfected a few jumps, getting a lot of air and landing in the correct area so it's a soft landing, but I ran into one problem. Multiple jumps while controlling speed.
I hit the first two with decent air and good landings, but somehow failed to slow down enough for the third. The air I got was remarkable, but this also caused me to miss the 'landing zone' by a good 3 feet, or 1 meter for you international folk. Next think I know my board hits the ground flat with a large thump, then I am on my ass, I hear a crack as my head slams into the ground, and I roll few times down the slope before I actually stopped.
For some reason it doesn't occur to me to just stay down and gather myself for a second and I just push myself back up and kept going, tapping my helmet a few times to make sure it wasn't actually cracked. No cracks after closer inspection later, surprisingly.
Now I am home and my butt really hurts. I think I may have landed on my tailbone since it really hurts to sit. It's actually kind of funny to watch me try and sit, I've been giggled at many times today by friends and family. My friend suggested I put one of those heat patches or bengay on my ass. I considered this thought for a moment and could only come up with this reply:
No thanks, having a hot ass is nice, just not literally.
For some reason she thought hurting my tailbone would hinder me professionally, but I stand... all day. And I certainly do not count pills with my ass (thought you all would be relieved to know that), so I am not sure how it will hurt me haha. Silly friends.
I was riding down the mountain happily, going faster with more confidence in my ability to avoid people and stop, and I've been getting better at my jumps too. I've been trying to gather courage to do a 180 turn during a jump, but I decided to be really solid in jumps first. I perfected a few jumps, getting a lot of air and landing in the correct area so it's a soft landing, but I ran into one problem. Multiple jumps while controlling speed.
I hit the first two with decent air and good landings, but somehow failed to slow down enough for the third. The air I got was remarkable, but this also caused me to miss the 'landing zone' by a good 3 feet, or 1 meter for you international folk. Next think I know my board hits the ground flat with a large thump, then I am on my ass, I hear a crack as my head slams into the ground, and I roll few times down the slope before I actually stopped.
For some reason it doesn't occur to me to just stay down and gather myself for a second and I just push myself back up and kept going, tapping my helmet a few times to make sure it wasn't actually cracked. No cracks after closer inspection later, surprisingly.
Now I am home and my butt really hurts. I think I may have landed on my tailbone since it really hurts to sit. It's actually kind of funny to watch me try and sit, I've been giggled at many times today by friends and family. My friend suggested I put one of those heat patches or bengay on my ass. I considered this thought for a moment and could only come up with this reply:
No thanks, having a hot ass is nice, just not literally.
For some reason she thought hurting my tailbone would hinder me professionally, but I stand... all day. And I certainly do not count pills with my ass (thought you all would be relieved to know that), so I am not sure how it will hurt me haha. Silly friends.
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